I'm short, fat, ugly and funny (no wait that's Ronny Corbett). Actually, I stared in Bad Boys and Ali. Man, I've really got to stop confusing myself with Will Smith. I'll start again (Taxi.). Hello! (Oh, I have to say more?). I have just ferried down to ye Old London. Am a little bit like Oliver Twist, except I don't steel food (usually). I'm currently working as a TV Presenter and Football Commentator for the BBC. Prior to that, I studied at Oxford. My "Degree" - if you can call 3 years of drinking that - was in Inglish. I am looking for an Orthodox, Jamacian Jewish Drama Queen with a minimum weight of 25 stone. You must have blue eyes (cross-eyes preferable), bright red hair, a strong chinese accent and 2 belly-buttons. (Terms & Conditions Apply; Pensioners need not apply). In all seriousness, as long as you're no Camilla, you can be my Queen (I can't believe I just wrote that. Oh well, looks like tis the Single life forever). What I want is funny, live-loving people to drink, club, eat pizza (very important ) and watch He-Man with. It will take a special breed to put up with me. I have no personality, no money, no soul and no foreskin. I like cake, Sport, Revels (every box is such a Surprise) and cute little children. Try me, you might like me (though I won't hold my breath). Ben :) PS. I have never done these dating malarky sites before, because I hate those lovesick puppies who go 'I am erm weally weally bubbly. but yeh also sensitive, yawwwwnnn. However, just so you know, I am 5.10, with light brown funky hair (with cool red streaks at the moment), blue eyes, a slim build, Jewish nose, and a big mouth. Am looking for friends (Romans & Countrymen), but if it leads to more then more fool you! (but also great!).