About Me

about me??  I'm confused by all of the following questions, and if you are too, then let me know what your thoughts are: How can there be self-help "groups"? Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? Why do they report power outages on TV? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there? How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are? Isn't getting Paula Abdul to judge a singing contest is like getting Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest??? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Can you explain a psychologist better than "like a blindfolded auto-mechanic poking around under the hood with a giant foam 'were #1' finger"? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? How the hell is it possible to have a civil war? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? OK, here's a little info about me, I enjoy long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me! I am not a fan of hoodrats & stupid people, and I'm very self sufficient as long as there's booze, satellite tv, and a maid! Getting me to stop writing the dumbest 'about me' description ever is like - shooting a bullet, with a smaller bullet, while being blindfolded, riding a horse! What happens when an unstoppable force (you) meets an immovable object (me)??? We'll see... :)