Famously friends with the woman at Starbucks who spells my name wrong (if it's any consolation, Starbucks lady, I call myself "Valerie" that early in the morning too).
I'm the unofficial (fine, self-proclaimed -- girl can't catch a break these days!) brunette Chelsea Handler: beautiful, witty, and imaginatively a blast to sit across the table from.
Purveyor of healthy cynicism (overtly positive people and too many exclamation marks freak me out), kale, British poets, Oxford Commas, intellectuals, liberals and the liberal arts, cinematic geniuses, and parentheses.
I enjoy good wine, well-written presidential biographies (sexy, right?) and coming up with witty responses to just about everything -- except when photos of adorable animals are involved (it's hard to be facetious when your heart's melting). Responsibly uninhibited, metaphysically and spiritually curious and willing to try anything three times, just in case I messed up the first two.
Good at being self-aware, mysterious and alluring, wise beyond my years, old-fashioned where I see fit (still use my phone as a phone) and new-fashioned when I have to be.
P.S. I'm actually 22 years old, but only numerically, and I've grown tired of 20-somethings emailing me "hey, what kind of trouble did you get into this weekend?" (At what EDM concert was it collectively decided that would be the default opener for men 20-29? Sheesh.) So, I'm trying this method to expand my match potential. Results pending...