You clicked. Thank you.
But, really, the next guy's better. Consider:
* I'm a full-time Dad by choice (i.e. not currently working).
* My youngest is only 8. * I'm legally committed to Maplewood until he graduates. * I'm doing fine but I'm not loaded.
* I'm neither politically correct nor left-of-center.
...wow, you're still here.
I'm a devoted father. My three kids, ages 8 to 15, are way smarter than yours. They're endlessly fascinating to watch and exhausting to nurture. I read to all three at the omelette breakfast I make daily and to my youngest alone every evening. As of this writing it's Catcher in the Rye over omelettes and Lemony Snicket after dessert. They're with me half time.
I'm truly happy. This wasn't the case for two years after divorce. If you're in the ugly depths now, listen to me--it will get better. I promise.
I support myself through the sale of my business a few years ago. This won't last forever but for now it works.
I love essays, questions and new ideas. I adore skiing, biking and sneaking to Ocean Grove for a sunset swim.
I'm not big on relaxing. Things like watching sports on TV, fishing and playing cards starts to feel frivolous after a while--know what I mean? I'd rather go do something active, or work on one of my many projects, or (serious favorite) clean my closets.
So if you ever catch me playing games on the iPad, remember I'm doing so ironically.
I don't gamble, do drugs, drink to excess or cheat. I won't send you photos of my genitals. I don't say "literally" figuratively, and I write "lol" only when literally laughing out loud.
I take pride in being an original thinker and expressing my ideas even when they're counter to sentiment in the room or the prevailing norms of our milieu. Consider yourself warned.
Jewish identity courses powerfully through me, though I'm hopelessly agnostic. I love tradition, ritual and connection to generations past and future ("L'dor va Dor"). The brilliance of Shabbat dinner is it brings these elements together. You should join us some time.
I was all farklempt and fartootz at my two older kids' Bar Mitzvahs. I'm kind of glad you didn't see it. I'd sent them to Jewish day school for years, the poor things. Anyway, I'm convinced our religion needs major reform and WE need to do it. I find synagogue services tedious. I don't get all that repetition and sometimes I don't feel all that impressed by praying at all. So if you're looking for me at shul I'm prolly schmoozing in the hallway.
Before you get all nasty and call me a hypocrite, there's a big difference between prolly and lol or literally. Usage of the latter abominations runs precisely counter to their meanings and undermines the foundations of our cherished language. But prolly is a phat teen improvement on the clunky "probably." I mention this prolly stuff because when you read that part about me not using lol or literally, you prolly thought I was a nebishy stick-in-the-mud.