About Me
After a recent night out with the guys, I flopped down on my couch when my terrier-poodle mix jumped up beside me. "Listen," she said, "I need a word." "You can talk!?" "No. You've been drinking." "Oh." The mutt had a point. "Fact is you're going out too much, partying..." "Yep. Livin the dream." "Dream? Who are you, Theodor Herzl?" (And I made a mental note to stop leaving the History Channel on for her when I left.) "I just think it's about time you started dating nice Jewish girls." "Okay first-ly," I said reclaiming pack leader, "I don't need your help. I'm doing just fine (hiccup). Second-ly, I'm not taking advice from someone who just had an accident in the kitchen." "ONE TIME! And we hadn't gone out in a while and.." "Just saying..." "Look," my dog went on, "You're a great guy. Good looking, smart, hands always smell nice. So don't hate me but while you were out tonight, I went on your laptop and put you on Jdate." "WHAT?!" "I'm sorry! But I did it for your own good. [...]