THIS IS THE ONLY JOB APPLICATION I HAVE EVER WRITTEN IN MY LIFE
To whom it may concern,
Please consider me for the position of Boyfriend, Husband that was recently advertised.
I have reviewed the advertisement thoroughly and I think I am a good candidate for the position.
I understand that the position is a trainee position and temporary-to-permane nt in duration but I know that if I apply myself and work hard, I might have a shot at my long-term ambition of securing the coveted position of Significant Other. In the meantime, I would be willing to work hard and attend regular training classes if your company offers them. I am willing to submit a picture suitable for a temporary photo-id badge. I am a hard worker and attentive to detail. I have great communication skills and a strong work ethic based on honesty, integrity and
mutual respect. I pay particular interest to the needs of my mate. The attached resume details my qualifications and provides you with some personal information that may assist you in making your decision. I am confident that I can be a valuable asset while in your company.
Age: Old enough, but young enough
Height: 5'-10” and shrinking
Body Style: Nice frame,Strong Chassis,Well maintained,Aerodynam ic,European design.
Grew up in France, Lived in Michigan for too long
Education: College, plenty of life experience and school of hard knocks
Outlook on life: Generally positive, sometimes cynical, sarcastic, humorous
Location: West Bloomfield, Michigan 48322 (subject to change if it keeps snowing)
Occupation: Self Employed, Financial, Property Management, Nice Landlord
Marital Status: Divorced
Children: Three gorgeous adults.
Drink: No or Occasionally
Humor: Not funny
Talent: Can talk about any subject like an expert
Tattoos/Body piercing: None (ouch)
Music: Like all types, but no rap
Movies: Don't like scary, or stupid movies.
Sports Play: Not really
Sports Watch: Some finals
Outdoors: Love going for walks
Food Eat: Enjoy all types
Food Cook: Good, well I haven’t poisoned anybody yet.
Travel: Traveled and Lived on 4 continents
Other Pleasures: My Children, Date night, spending a nice quite evening at home,hitting the dance floor.
REFERENCE: GREAT REFERENCE FROM MY PREVIOUS EMPLOYER
Personal Information: I'm handsome, worldly, honest, affectionate,authent ic, caring, charismatic, confident, devoted, energetic, exciting,outgoing, down-to-earth, strong, independent, sensitive, kind, considerate, generous, thoughtful, easy-going, non-judgmental, dependable, trustworthy.......so modest and quite comfortable using adjectives.
Who I'm looking for: Someone just like you.
Thank you for considering me for the position.
I look forward to your reply at your earliest convenience.
I will release white smoke from my chimney when my quest is over