About Me

The left side of my face is more attractive than the right side of my face. I think my nose is slightly crooked, pretty sure it's not my imagination. I mean, I've had this nose for a while, I know it pretty well. I like holding hands. Not sure why. I take that back, I do know why. It's because it makes me feel like someone enjoys my company enough if they're willing to hold my hand in public. I think that officially qualifies me for being in the 6th grade. When I was a senior in high school, I taught myself some NSYNC dances for a school lip sync/dance competition. I won't say which songs, but I still remember the dances. This was before youtube, so you know I really had to do my homework. Then once youtube came around, I taught myself how to moonwalk. Circle of life, I guess. Just like Elton John sang about. I'm a bit of a homebody, not into the nightlife as much anymore. And by "anymore" I really mean "ever." I think i drank more from the ages of 16-20 than I have from 20-28. Now I don't even drink at all. Not that I'm against it, but I just decided to stop pretending that I actually like the taste of alcohol. I had a good run. I'm very close to my family, my friends, and my bed. I love sleep. Although, ironically, I never take naps. Well, I take like two a year, and they always last like 6 hours and I wake up all disoriented, not knowing what time it is. It's very off-putting. I'm a pretty active person. I work out quite a bit, but not enough to where I feel guilty for silently mocking the bros that do curls in front of the mirror on friday nights before they go out. Basically, I'm super nice, and super handsome. I know this, because my mom told me. And I know for a fact my mom is not a liar. If you have made it this far, and agree, then talk to me. I know what I deserve, and I know what I'm looking for. What do you have to lose? It's the effing internet. For the longest time I avoided dating Jewish girls. But then it hit me. When I raise my future kids, I would really prefer them to have their own little bar or bat mitzvah, then celebrate their own little hanukkah with the family, then call my mom Bubee. It all makes sense in my head now. It only took 28 years.