I’m one part John Stewart, one part Sean Avery and a soupcon George Costanza. Perhaps my greatest contribution to society is that I'm an avid recycler. I once thought about saying "YOLO," and then didn't. If you are without wit, you are also without my friendship. You'll never catch me underdressed for an occasion. Everything I know about life, I learned from ice hockey. I sometimes drink too much, talk too much and work too much. My most shameful admissions are that I do not know how to drive stick shift and I’m a flip-cup liability. I like vacuuming. People who don’t like dogs and/or kids can’t be trusted. I often fantasize about freeing the carriage horses in Central Park in one great heroic act. I do not want to donate money to your marathon run, but I've been known to give loose change to bums for good luck.