I am really good at saying That's What She Said when it makes absolutely no sense, thereby completely confuses people to the point that the are forced to awkwardly laugh.
I still enjoy that trick where you point to something on a person’s shirt, ask “what happened?”, have them look down, and then flip your finger up and say “Got you!”. Such satisfaction.
I also can compare any life event to Seinfeld. Recently I was eating mandel bread and couldn’t help but break into a “Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum” chant.
I also have a great talent for thinking of the direct opposite of a word or name. You should find this both weird and endearing.
Oh and I went to Cornell University. Ever heard of it?