According to everyone's sister/cousin/best friend, this site is where they met some amazing people. But since I can't be online all the time, I decided to take what I learned from here into the real world and see what happens.
I started off slowly and just went around "flirting" with women using canned catchphrases like "how are you still single?" and " I'd like to start a conversation but you need to make the first move" and "heaven must be short an angel today". Weirdly enough, none of them worked so well. So I moved on to secretly telling women I thought they were hot. How did I do this? Simple: I paid off five other guys to simultaneously walk up to someone I found attractive and we all told her she was good looking at the same time. then I asked them to pick who they thought really meant it. Some women walked away, some ran. But none of them seemed too flattered.
Next I started walking around with a tiger, and sometimes with a motorcycle, thinking this for sure would impress the ladies. The tiger was on some meds I found in my bathroom so he was pretty mellow, but apparently I didn't have a permit for him so the city took him away. The motorcycle was just a pain to walk around with, especially since I don't know how to ride one.
Another idea I had was to go to the doctor and get my legs shortened because I'm actually 5'11 and I know that everyone fibs about their height here so I really thought I'd get much luckier if I was 5'7. That was a no go and I didn't like gaining weight or dying my hair to look older, so I decided that I would just have to look like my photos and everyone would have to deal with it.
When the whole age/height/weight thing didn't work I went right to one of my co captains in a football league where I play and got him to sign an affidavit stating that I play hard. Then I went to my business partner and had him sign a note that I also work hard. I put those notes in my pocket knowing that they were important and that someone will soon ask me to show them. Sadly, no one did.
Finally it hit me. The reason I wasn't having any luck in the real world was because I didn't have a list! everyone here has a list! the missing piece to the puzzle. So I wrote one up and the next day when a good looking gal sat next to me at the dog run and said hi, I pulled it out and said "I can only talk to you if you eat meat and you're in shape and you like dogs and you have a valid passport and...hey! where are you going??? hey!! wait up!!"
Apparently not one of the many successful online dating methods was working! what's a boy to do? So I'm deciding to just be myself. What you see is what you get. I understand I'm not for everyone, and that not everyone is for me. But I'm not in any kind of a rush, so say hi if you feel like it and we'll take it from there.