About Me
I am relaxed and occasionally silly...yet extremely focused and driven to succeed. I'm passionate about animals and art; it's difficult for me to do anything without passion. I'm lucky to have seen much of the world (my parents were born in Paris and Vienna), so I speak French and feel quite international. I run 4 miles very fast. I get along well with intelligent women who don't throw things or taunt pandas. Professionally, I am a cat burgler. I steal other peoples' cats, usually at night, gently scissor off their whiskers (it doesn't hurt them at all and the whiskers grow back) - which my company processes and refines into high-grade whisker extract for sale abroad. Then, the following evening, our we secretly drop the cats back off in front of their owner's home unharmed, and well-fed (typically Alaskan salmon - not farm-raised salmon) - and the owners find their cats wearing small, snugly-fitting green Robin Hood-type caps with a white quill, just so the owner laughs and is confused, and forgets to call authorities. It's a lucrative though increasingly competitive field.I no longer get angry at the sight of herring, and am now in a calm, focused place.