Hey there, thanks for clicking on my face! :) This may be the most absurdly long profile you'll ever come across on here, but I'm pretty awesome, so I assure you it's totally worth it. Free cookies if you make it to the end. :D
Let's see, where to begin. Well, I'm the son of humble goat herders from the Balkans...no, wait, damnit, that can't be right. Ah, got it: I was born and bred in the Boston area, and I love it here (apart from the winters...I'm not down with the blizzard nonsense). I'm worldly enough to know that life does indeed exist outside of Beantown, and I've been able to travel a bit however, I'm not even remotely a travel-snob. Travel-snobs annoy the *bleep* out of me. I follow the local teams to a degree, mainly the Patriots, but by no means am I a fanatic. Unlike most on here (apparently), I have no idea whether I'm "down to earth," "easygoing," or "laid-back." I mean, what's the basis of comparison? We're all a little nutty in our own ways, and those quirks make people unique and interesting, no? Yes. So I'll skip the aforementioned vague descriptors and just declare the following: I'm a good egg.
Okay, moving on..
- polite. I *always* say Please and Thank You.
- cynical, but I try to keep that in check.
- chivalrous, if I dare say so myself. I hold doors and treat ladies like ladies and such.
- fat. Not really, it just struck me as funny to write that, haha.
- diplomatic (middle child syndrome, perhaps?)
- hilarious. If you disagree, you clearly have no sense of humor. :)
- inappropriate whenever possible.
- put down by the man.
Stuff I like:
- superhero movies
- early 90s hip-hop (more on that later)
- comedy from Larry David, Daniel Tosh, Louis C.K., and the like.
- people watching (and making [mostly] light-hearted fun of said people)
- naps. I really love naps.
- football (playing and watching)
- strawberry shortcake ice cream bars
- driving fast
- live stand-up comedy
- chocolate. chocolate. Yes, that bears repeating.
- I'm a relatively self-aware work-in-progress.
- For a straight guy, I have surprisingly specific tastes when it comes to women's fashion. For example: Those little elf-type low boots/shoes that are currently all the rage? Sorry, but those are awful. Pencil skirt and a nice set of heels? Now we're talkin'.
- I take long showers, mostly because that's where I do my best thinking.
- I begin every day with a glass or two of orange juice. If I don't have any in the fridge, it feels like someone has punched a hole in my soul. I need my damn O.J.!!
- I'm always the top hat in Monopoly. Don't even try.
- I use far too many emoticons. I'm aware. My self-help group meets on Tuesdays. :D
- I refuse to take a "selfie," ever. Someone has to draw the line.
- I like to think that when the story of my life is told, Morgan Freeman will narrate.