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ElAlCoolJ Offline

  • Single, Man seeking a Woman
  • 38 years old from Howard Beach, NY
  • Logged in: 8 hours ago
  • Last Update: 10/21/2014
Have kids:
None
Wants kids:
Yes
Height:
6' 1" (185 cm)
Religion:
Reform
Smoke:
Non-Smoker
Education:
Master's Degree
Occupation:
Entrepreneurial…
Synagogue:
Sometimes
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About Me

"Sephardic from the bottom now we're here................ ."Ok, back to the usual profile business. It seems today, that all you see, is violence in movies and sex on TV. Where are those good ol fashioned values, on which we used to rely (trumpet part). Lucky there's the Jdate guy. Lucky there's a dude who, won' t date you and confuse you, cause that will probably make you, mad and cry. He's...the...Jdate.. ..guyyyyyy. (Stewie) I say, what the deuce are you doing? (JDguy) I am writing a profile Stewie, you have any suggestions? (Brian)I do, why don't you remove that hat, it's probably scaring the ladies (JDguy) Nah, it's not like I wear it out in public or anything (Quagmire) Hey, you want to borrow my leopard bathrobe and pose in it, heh heh, I bet you would giggety giggety get some replies. (JDguy) Leopard? ummm nope. (Quagmire)Suit yourself, chicks dig the leopard, aaaaalright. (Mort Goldman) Oh this profile is too long, it is hurting my retinas. (Tom Tucker) This just in, Jdate guy just got IMed. Her exact words...... "hi" What do you make of this Diane? (Diane) Not sure Tom, but it sounds like she is shy. (Tom Tucker) We now go live to Ollie Williams with today's Jdate forecast...(Ollie Williams) It's cold!!!! (Tom Tucker) Thanks Ollie. In another breaking story, pigs that refuse to eat jews? Stay tuned. And now, with another installment of "Grinds my gears", here's Peter Griffin (Peter Griffin) Thanks Tom. You know what grinds my gears? These jdate women running around with their fifteen profile pics with their little outfits, holding a puppy, flashing the peace sign and making the fish faces and I'm over here. What am I supposed to do? Are we gonna go out? You viewed the profile three times and haven't written yet. What do you want??? Tell me what you want. I'll tell you what you want. You want nothing. You want nothing. Because we all know that no woman anywhere is going to write anything to anyone first because if she does, that will throw the whole universe out of proportion and that, that is really bogus. You know what else grinds my gears? People in the 19th century. Why don't they get with the freakin' program? It's called an automobile folks. It's much faster than a horse. And that's what grinds my gears. Tom. (Tom Tucker) Great Peter. And that concludes our news for today. We take you back to Jdate guy who is trying to wrap up his profile. (Peter) Ooh ooh, say that you like to Zumba, eat tofu, and quote Shakespeare on a daily basis. (JDguy) But I don't. (Peter) Heheheheh, wuss. (Stewie) Oh for goodness sake, all of you imbeciles are giving me a headache. Leave the room at once so I can plan my world domination. (Lois) Aww I think Stewie needs a nap (Stewie) Silence you contempible shrew or I shall wreak havoc on you and your tupperware. JDguy, you wretched bench pressing Jew, end this profile at once. (JDguy) Ok, ok...sheesh.

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