Reading my profile is a lot like looking at a Jackson Pollack painting. You have been warned.
The first thing you will notice about me is that I am not wearing any makeup in any of my photos. Not sure I need to share that tidbit, but you all seem to point out when you're not wearing any. So I thought I would reciprocate.
I can assure you that at no time while composing this profile was I drunk, otherwise medicated, or having a stroke. I can also assure you that I am not on any mood altering drugs, antidepressants, nor am I under the care or a psychiatrist or psychologist. Apparently these things are not as much a given in 2015 NYC. Makes me long for a simpler time when all a guy had to say to impress a woman was "I gots mah own teef."
A person is mugged in Manhattan every 6.8 minutes. I am that person, and I really wish they'd leave me alone. I think it's because I am the world's only living midget with gigantism.. Women tend to be attracted to me If the lights are really dim, or they have had a lot to drink. If both are happening at the same time, I'm apparently a hottie.
My aunt was Betty Boop. Yes, the voice of the cartoon character. I am the only guy on JDate who can put that in their profile. Okay, I guess anyone can put it in their profile, but I am the only one who can honestly state it. She was the only one to do the voice until she died. She stopped doing it after that for obvious reasons.
As long as I blackmail them and threaten their children, my friends will tell you that I'm great. I used to love the show America's Most Wanted. Did you know that you don't get the reward for turning in the actors who play the criminals? He was really mad. Lesson learned. I believe that before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes so when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.
How is a fish a pet? I finally figured out why people like cats so much...they're delicious. No cats were harmed in the making of this profile. I love dogs, and had a bulldog/boxer mix named Bruno for over 11 years recently passed away.
I have skydived, bungee jumped, white water rafted, and ride a motorcycle. I would love to meet someone who would do these things with me, but understand that it's not for everyone. Why is "Don't believe in it" an answer for Zodiac sign? Whether you believe in it or not, you have a birthday (I hope), and therefore by definition, you have a sign. I don't believe in it either, but like the tooth fairy, it is real. Global warming is, however an urban legend.
Hmmm...what else can I share about me? I am a great cook (I really am Jewish-pinky swear). I hated the movie "You've Got Mail". Oh, and one thing I need to mention. I just turned 47, so I'm not not 42 (stupid birthdays). That's more about searches than trying to hide my age...I mean if I was trying to lie, I just screwed that up, so maybe I'm not to bright..