A person is mugged in Manhattan every 6.8 minutes. I am that person, and I really wish they'd leave me alone. I think it's because I am the world's only living midget with gigantism.. Women tend to be attracted to me If the lights are really dim, or they have had a lot to drink. If both are happening at the same time, I'm apparently a hottie.
My aunt was Betty Boop. Yes, the voice of the cartoon character. Hopefully, that's not the most interesting thing about me, but I am the only guy on JDate who can put that in their profile. Okay, I guess anyone can put it in their profile, but I am the only one who can honestly state it. She was the original and only one to do the voice until she died. She stopped doing it after that for obvious reasons.
As long as I blackmail them and threaten their children, my friends will tell you that I'm great. I used to love the show America's Most Wanted. Did you know that you don't get the reward for turning in the actors who play the criminals? He was really mad. Lesson learned. I believe that before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes so when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes. My dog Bruno is deaf, and has recently been prescribed Xanax. It was a relief to learn that he has anxiety issues, considering my theory about him plotting against me.
I have skydived, bungee jumped, white water rafted, and ride a motorcycle. I would love to meet someone who would do these things with me, but understand that it's not for everyone. I just need someone to understand that occasionally I might need to go 100 mph on the bike (not on 2nd Avenue). Hey, why is "Don't believe in it" an answer for Zodiac sign? Whether you believe in it or not, you have a birthday (I hope), and therefore by definition, you have a sign. I don't believe in it either, but like the tooth fairy, it is real. Global warming is, however an urban legend. How is a fish a pet? I finally figured out why people like cats so much...they're delicious. If you're a cat lover, you might have stopped reading by now. Important note: No cats were harmed in the making of this profile.
If that wasn't enough, I am a great cook too (I really am Jewish-pinky swear). I hated the movie "You've Got Mail". Oh, and one thing I need to mention. I just turned 45, so I'm not not 40 (stupid birthdays). I promise the rest is as advertised except for the petite body style thing. At 5'11, that's obviously a joke. Hope you enjoy my Kibitz answers. I couldn’t take the questions seriously.