JBlog^®

Every single one of you is guilty, admit it. As soon as you log in to your JDate account the first thing you do is click on the “Who’s Viewed You?” link and see who has checked out your profile since the last time you logged in. Sometimes you’re excited because the prospect has viewed you again and there’s mutual interest, sometimes you’re excited to see some new faces and other times you get supremely bummed because neither of the above happened.

Then of course you go to the “Recently Viewed” link to see if the prospects you viewed have logged in since then and if they have, why didn’t they view you back? And if they haven’t logged in yet then at least there’s still a morsel of hope!

This is why it’s imperative that you keep your profile set to viewable because if you’ve hidden your profile — even if you email prospects — then you are exponentially lowering your odds at meeting someone. So unless you’re in the midst of doing a profile makeover or are dating someone and waiting to see how serious it gets then there’s no reason to hide your profile.

I have a few friends who are on JDate but use it in an unorthodox way. When they see prospects that aren’t for them but would be perfect for their friend, they write the person and send them that friend’s screen name with the reason why they think they would make a great match. Sometimes the new prospects would have already received emails from JDate that they are a match, sometimes not, but it’s different when it comes from someone’s friend confirming JDate’s algorithm. So if you see someone on JDate who may not be for you but might be perfect for your friend, then make the match. And if your friend isn’t on JDate, then ask permission and then still make the match. Then you get credit for a shidduch (it takes 3 to get to heaven!) and so does JDate!

So you’ve been messaging back and forth with that cute punum the past week and you finally set up a date. Maybe you even had a phone call beforehand and got to know each other. The date is set and the place is picked. To help ensure you make it a successful date, I’ve made a list of three essential steps to take:

1) Relax

Don’t go into this thinking he/she will be your future husband or wife. Take it slow. A lot of people get super excited about dates and think “this may be ‘The One.’” If you go into a date with that mindset, then you will set yourself up to lose. Instead, think about this date as another experience you get to have with an interesting person. Heck, you already qualified them for what you’re looking for. Now, enjoy the time together and don’t rush it.

2) Dress The Part

This advice is mostly for the guys here. Dress up! This is a date. Think Friday Night Services. You want to impress your date and look good, right? Put on a decent collared shirt (make sure it fits) and a nice pair of shoes. Women give extra special bonus points to the guys who know how to dress. Girls, I’m sure you got this part handled.

3) Bring the Energy!

Yes, I said to relax, so this might seem a little contradictory. But, dates are about fun! If you aren’t eager to be there, then you will put your date off. Ask them intriguing questions. Tell them your funniest stories (don’t get too crazy). And have fun. When you enjoy the moment, the people around you will enjoy it too. It’s never enough to just show up. Bring your A-game.

Those are the most important tips to having a successful date #1. Follow these three tips and you will be on your way to a successful date #2. That is what you want, isn’t it?

Read more from Tripp here.

1. Angelina Jolie’s Reaction to Carrying a “Jewish Cancer Gene”

Angelina Jolie announced last week that she underwent a preemptive double mastectomy to reduce her risk of breast cancer. The A-list actress has a family history of cancer and tested positive for genetic flaws in the BRCA1 gene, which indicates an elevated risk for breast and ovarian cancer. The BRCA1 mutation, especially common in Jewish women, puts Jolie at an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and a 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer.

“I have always told [my children] not to worry, but the truth is I carry a ‘faulty’ gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer,” the actress, 37, wrote in last Tuesday’s New York Times.

2. Barbara Walters Announces Retirement

After more than five decades, Barbara Walters is hanging up her microphone. The veteran ABC News anchor, who is 83, announced last week she will retire from TV journalism next summer.

“Let me just say I have been on television continuously for over 50 years,” said the Jewish journalist while filming an episode of The View on ABC. “But in the summer of 2014, I plan to retire from appearing on television at all.”

“I do not want to appear on another program or climb another mountain,” Walters told ABC News. “I want instead to sit on a sunny field and admire the very gifted women — and OK, some men too — who will be taking my place.”

3. Aly Raisman Dances Her Way Into the Finals on DWTS

Aly Raisman, the gold medal-winning gymnast on the U.S. Women’s Gymnastics Team at the 2012 Summer Olympics, is now going for gold as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars! The 18-year-old Jewish gymnast heads into the show’s finals this week as one of the top contenders!

Raisman secured her spot in this week’s finale by scoring a perfect score at the end of last week’s episode – as did NFL player Jacoby Jones who tied Raisman for first place.

Raisman will compete against Jones, country singer Kellie Pickler, and Disney star Zendaya in an epic dance-off during the Dancing With the Stars finale which airs tonight on ABC!

At some point in your dating career, you will end up with someone who is annoyingly affectionate. Usually you already have an inkling that this person isn’t “The One” — and so everything they do is annoying, but whether it’s a first date or a one-year anniversary, there are people out there who don’t realize their type of affection is anything but loving.

It’s those people who constantly touch you — regardless of if you’re eating, sleeping, in the midst of a fight, talking, walking, crying, getting ready, cooking, you get the point. Affection is (usually) welcome, as long as its the right amount at the right time. Some people don’t like to be touched when they are doing certain things or feeling a certain way and anyone interested in being with you long-term needs to learn to both read your body language and your moods!

There are people who “try” online dating for a month or two, and then call it quits. They will go back and forth through a series of messages, venturing out from behind the computer screen for a date or two (which inevitably won’t go exactly as planned), and then decide enough is enough. They then throw in the towel and resort to living a lonely life of sinking into the creases of their living room couch, playing unlimited games of Xbox, and ignoring calls from Mom — because all she will nag about is why her kid is wasting their lives holding hands with a remote control. Here’s when you should give up… and when you should keep on, keeping on:

• Do: Give the online dating scene a chance. If it doesn’t work out, maybe take a short break, and come back to it refreshed and open to trying it out again. Sometimes it helps to just revamp your profile, or spend some time rethinking what it is you are looking for in a person and how serious you want to take this experience.

• Don’t: Go on one or two online dates and call it quits. Most first dates will be a little overwhelming or awkward, but that’s why there is sometimes such a stigma around first dates. Either decide to go on a second date with someone who has potential, or keep searching and corresponding with more people until you find someone else who sparks an interest in your head.

There is someone out there for everyone — the number of different types of online dating sites just reinforces that! Give it a chance, or two.

Read more of Jen Glantz here.

Get an Extreme Profile Makeover

Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Jason W.”

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Hi Jason W.,

You’ve got a great profile and I think a few tweaks will be all you need to help you attract the higher quality woman you are looking for.

PROFILE NAME
Having a profile name composed of your birth year and initials is fine, it’s not massively attention-grabbing but it’s you and it’s unique. No need to change it unless you get some awesome idea which hasn’t been used yet.

PHOTOS
You’re cute, I’m not going to lie. The first photo grabs the attention which your profile name lacks. The next 3 are cool because it shows you living life, traveling and having fun. I would add another one or two photos showing you closer up because the last 3 are pictures taken from further away or you’re wearing sunglasses. It’s great to use a photo showing the scenery of where you’ve traveled, but then you need to balance it out with an up close and personal pic.

IN MY OWN WORDS
I appreciate that you’ve answered the questions thoroughly and honestly. Fix a couple of your capitalization typos to perfect your shpiels. My only concern would be this: you are tall, in your early 30s and good looking and with what looks like a really good head on your shoulders. So what’s the problem? Girls may think you are either too perfect or a fraud. Mention something about your midwestern roots and humble upbringing. Add a witty, slightly self-deprecating one-liner. And finally, your life appears pretty complete on paper, so talk about your desire for a partner. Your answers to I’M LOOKING FOR and MY IDEAL RELATIONSHIP seem to ask a lot of intangibles from a woman and may put a lot of pressure on the ladies you go out with. It’s important to have some level of expectation but perfection is not one of them. At the end of the day you want a real person laying next to you in bed, not a resume.

DETAILS
I would delete your annual income. I know you are an entrepreneur and you are proud to be successful, but because you seem so perfect already then stating your income is overboard. It’s just too much. Otherwise I like all the other answers until MY IDEAL MATCH. As a man in his early thirties you should be interested in much more than a Long Term Relationship so select Marriage and Children as well. Then expand your Age Range because it makes no sense that it stops at a few years younger than your age. Your maximum should be at least your own age if not a year or two higher when you’re 33. It’s important that you answer if you would date a woman with children and if you want a woman who wants children. Finally, you have selected every option under Religion and Education and I know that a man who loves pork and shellfish and has a Master’s Degree wouldn’t date a woman who only graduated high school and is Orthodox.

Being perfect is not what women are looking for, so make sure you’re being real and you will attract a real woman too. Good Luck!

Get an Extreme Profile Makeover

Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Carly.”

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Hi Carly,

I’m surprised your profile is so popular what with the lack of photos and completed profile, alas,  you haven’t found anyone you like yet so I think a little profile makeover is just what you need.

PROFILE NAME
I like that your personality is in your profile name — I like 2 have fun 2! — but since the arrangement of the letters and numbers was already taken the name loses some of the originality and excitement with the added jumble of letters and numbers at the end. If you can change up the name a bit to make it unique then it would be better.

PHOTOS
Two photos. Oy. Not a fan. And the first one has you wearing sunglasses. Double oy. Love that you’re in a bikini (hot!) but unfortunately the thumbnail doesn’t show the full photo. When you choose your main profile photo you have to take into consideration the “zoom factor” because the entire photo doesn’t show up. This means I need a reason to click on your profile to see the photo in all its glory. This photo is a great supplemental photo as it shows your body and your outdoorsy-ness, but you need more of a headshot for the main photo. Your second photo, with your son, is super cute and is a keeper, you just need at least 2 more, if not 4, photos.

IN MY OWN WORDS
Every single one of your answers is short. Too short. And you don’t use capitalization or punctuation. Not good. The lack of effort is apparent. What you say is nice, it just all needs to be expanded upon. I do appreciate that you don’t mention your divorce because I strongly advise divorcees to wait as long as possible before discussing what caused the demise of their marriage. I would however mention your son somewhere even if it’s just to say that you love being a Mom, but want a partner to enjoy the adult things in life.

MY DETAILS
I find it interesting that you didn’t answer all of the DETAILS but you completed the MY IDEAL MATCH thoroughly. You obviously know what you want but you need to give up some of your personal information too. It’s not just putting the time and energy into completing your profile but it also seems that you have a wall up. The information JDate asks is not too imposing, it’s information you would exchange on a first date and just as you want a specific man, he wants to know what you do for a living and what kind of custody you have of your son. Additionally, I find your age range to be too narrow. As a 39-year-old who is active and likes to have fun, you should expand your age range to include men as young as 35 and as “old” as 47. Otherwise, I think your criteria is good.

You are very close to having a great profile just put some effort into completing it. Good Luck!

You know when you start off the day feeling great, and then someone rains on your parade, and instead of brushing it off and putting a smile on your face and continuing on with your day you let the nastiness bleed into your entire day and domino effect until the date you were excited about is suddenly not looking too promising anymore.

Aside from the fact that you let someone or something ruin your entire day, you are now about to let that same negativity affect your first interaction with a stranger whom you are interested in romantically. Does it feel good to sometimes take your stress out on the nameless, faceless customer service representative on the phone whom you will never meet nor speak to again? Sure. It’s wrong, but sure, it feels good for that instant. This date doesn’t have to be an instant though. Don’t let your ugly attitude stop there from being a second date.

You have to put things into perspective. Are you going to allow one bad run-in ruin what could be your first date… and last? You have got to shake off any negativity before you enter into a date. Adjust your attitude. Since you hope to spend your life being happy, then why not exude the happiness you want in your life while on a date. You don’t want to spend a first date bonding over the bad. Just because it’s still a form of bonding doesn’t mean you can build a relationship on it. 

The act of smiling sends positive signals to your brain that you’re happy and can change your attitude. Doing some yoga breathing, taking a shower, having a tough workout, or venting to your best friend are all things you can do prior to a date so that you aren’t bringing the bad attitude with you.

1. Gwyneth Paltrow Disses the Met Gala

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is talking smack about one of the fashion world’s biggest parties! The A-lister (whose father is Jewish) attended the prestigious Met Gala last Monday, but later dissed the event, reportedly saying “it sucked” in a media interview.

“It seems like it’s the best thing in the world,” Paltrow reportedly said. “You always think, ‘Oh my god, it’s gonna be so glamorous and amazing and you’re going to see all these people’ and then you get there and it’s so hot and it’s so crowded and everyone’s pushing you.”

The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s renowned Costume Institute Benefit annual gala, also known as the Met Gala, featured many A-list stars all dressed up for the evening’s theme: “PUNK: Chaos to Couture.” Paltrow, who is 40, said she didn’t think the punk theme was age appropriate. “I think we’re all a bit old to dress up punk,” she said by way of explaining why she didn’t get into the spirit of things.

2. Selma Blair Heads to the Beach for Mother’s Day

Selma Blair hit the beach in Malibu with her son Arthur yesterday, hoping to make a splash this Mother’s Day! The actress, who is Jewish, got some sun with her son (sorry for the pun) who will turn 2 years old in July.

Blair, who is now a single mom, split with Arthur’s father, fashion designer Jason Bleick, last August. She was also spotted with her son Arthur earlier this month at the Los Angeles Zoo.

Selma currently stars alongside Charlie Sheen in the second season of the FX series Anger Management.

3. Natalie Portman Takes Her Son to the JCC

Natalie Portman was spotted bringing her son Aleph to a Jewish Community Center in Los Feliz last Monday. The Oscar winner, who was born in Jerusalem, didn’t say why she was heading inside the JCC, but we assume it was to take part in some fun family time with her little one!

The actress, who is 32, is reportedly planning to relocate to Paris later this year with her 35-year-old choreographer husband, Benjamin Millepied. Millepied, a former principal dancer with the New York City Ballet, will begin his new position as director of the Paris Opera Ballet in October of 2014.