As I have been globetrotting through the tri-state area for my real job, my close guy friend “Dr. Mike” (see previous blog post) and I have continued debating/discussing dating etiquette or the “rules to live by”.
1. Be in THE MOMENT. Always turn your phone/blackberry off while on the date. If you are actually expecting an important call (from a sick relative or Barak Obama), let your date know as soon as the date begins and the general nature of the interruption. If the use of electronics is needed – excuse yourself and do it in the bathroom. I have emailed my date sitting across from me (who was emailing) to ask how dinner was going. Trust me, I’m guilty as charged, but your focus should be on getting to know the person in front of you.
2. Call the woman (or email) the next day if you are interested. None of this ‘wait 48 hrs bull.’ Trust me, it doesn’t pique your date’s interest, it actually lessens it. Recently, a date asked me out on our next date within 15 minutes into our second date, which threw me off guard, but I thought it was incredibly charming (granted the interest was mutual).
3. During your date, ask her if she is a texter, emailer, or actual phone-speaker….so you know how to contact her in the future.
4. I know this will cause a stir for us Manhattanites, but breathe…If your date lives in another borough, or even in Jersey…go there on the first date. A Manhattanite traveling to Jersey for date #1 always scores big.
5. This has been the biggest shocker to me re: NYC dating… the big dilemma of whether or not to meet at the date location. Both Dr. Mike and I agree that offering to pick up and drop off your date is always the polite move. Perhaps this makes your date uncomfortable, but offering can never hurt you (even if she lives 35 blocks away, and you are going to a restaurant around the corner from where you live). Addendum per Dr. Mike: When you pick your date up, get out of cab to greet her.
6. Ask your date questions about herself/himself. It shows interest (think Matt Lauer/Meredith Viera)…but don’t put her/him up on witness stand.
7. No politics, no religion ( I guess for this blog not really an issue), no heavy ex- relationship discussions.
8. When the check arrives, guys immediately move it to your side so it is not awkwardly lingering in the middle. Ladies, make the platitude offer though most feel if it is accepted in the beginning, it’s a deal breaker. At some point as the dates progress, ladies make some contribution or gestures of your own. Relationships are not one-sided.