When it Becomes Exclusive

by GemsFromJen under JBloggers,JDate,Relationships

Dear Gems from Jen,
 
After eight months of being off of JDate, I have recently returned to the site. A man who I was in contact with before, but had never met, reestablished contact with me. We had a connection before, but I may have chickened out from meeting him. I was happy he contacted me and even happier after we spoke on the phone. We finally had our first date and had a blast – we spent the whole day together and are planning another date. My question is, if you have an amazing connection with someone and plan on dating them, how long before it is time to take down your profile? I am new at this and really am not sure. He did initially tell me that if we hit it off, he isn’t going to remove his profile after a week, but he didn’t mention when this would happen. His intentions seem genuine and I want to give my 100% but only if he does the same. Any advice would be appreciated!
Many thanks,
Curiousgirl

 
Dear Curious Girl,
 
Mazel tov on your new dating life! What a fantastic story. It sounds like the two of you are off to a great start. Take your time and enjoy this new and exciting experience.  Becoming exclusive too quickly may not always be the best way to handle a brand new relationship. I am curious as to why you chickened out the first time around? Be sure you know what it is you are getting yourself into. Re-visit the feelings of anxiety that the meeting caused you all of those months ago. This way you will be 100% certain that you have fully changed your mind now about this guy.
 
My suggestion is to have few more dates with him and then if you still feel the same way, sit down with him and have a candid conversation. You both need to agree that you are going to remove your profiles. Until both of you agree to become exclusive there is nothing wrong with him leaving his profile on JDate. It might not feel right to you, but a relationship takes two people and you both need to be on the same page for the relationship to not only survive, but thrive.
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen

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