The Rebound Effect

by GemsFromJen under JBloggers,JDate,Relationships

Dear Gems from Jen,

Recently, my boyfriend and I (whom I met on JDate) split up.. The last two months of our relationship were drawn out and should have ended long before it did. I’m ready to get back on the horse but it has only been a few days and I am worried that by rushing back onto JDate could cause me to have a rebound. I’m not that type of girl and have never been placed in this situation before.

Now that we are over, I don’t really miss him, I just miss having a boyfriend.

Should I wait until I’m completely happy with being alone or just jump back into the dating scene?

Thanks,
Danielle

Dear Danielle,

My best suggestion is to do what you feel most comfortable with. If you are questioning your motives then you already have your answer. It has only been a few days.  Whether or not the relationship was good or bad, your time and energy was with this person and it does take some time to move away from an ex. I agree that rushing into something right away will probably be more of a rebound relationship , rather than something that revolves around true feelings.  However, if you take your time and only date men who meet your criteria then it will probably slow your urge to quiet the loneliness that you seem to be experiencing.

It is common for people who have recently gone through a break up to  go through exactly what you are experiencing. Missing the companionship outweighs missing the actual person.  It’s always nice to have someone to do things with. Just be careful and realize where you stand at this time. Perhaps, looking for friends on JDate before jumping into something might be the way to go at this point in time. There is nothing wrong with dating and not entering into a relationship right away. See what else is out there and enjoy dating for a bit. You’ll know when it is the real deal if you take your time and date for the right reasons.

 Signed,
 Gems from Jen

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