Some Good Advice from an Ex…

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under JBloggers,Online Dating

This morning I had “blunch” (breakfast that ran into lunch) with an ex who has become one of my most favorite friends. Yes, it does happen on occasion.  As I relayed my dating stories and expectations that I have for those I date (which by the way, I think are basic common courtesy expectations), his response was, “Get over it or date someone from the South, then.”  Be prepared to teach some. His point was that my courtship expectations (calling versus texting and the other blunders) aren’t deal breakers and can be taught through communicating with your partner.  Perhaps.  But more importantly and insightfully – he said, “Why don’t you focus on what your date needs to make him feel safe and want to invest in you emotionally?”  Hmmm…I guess all too often maybe we forget to see things from the other person’s perspective and give off the wrong signals as we are only focused on our date meeting our own expectations. Admittedly, all too often I’m quick to say “done, he didn’t do yada yada…”  I guess my next date gets to benefit from my ex’s advice and my new experiment…Let me think about him and his perspective…(rather than just I). “I” think if we all did this perhaps there would be less frustrated singles and more happy couples.  Things that make you want to go hmmm.

 

 

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