How does the past mark the future of how we behave now while dating? For me I know it has had an important impact. I’ve compared and contrasted while in the process of getting to know someone. How can you or I change this? We all do it, and unless we can begin something new with a clean slate we will never attain what we are searching for.
Firstly, it is time to let go. Learn from the past relationships. Decide what was good and what was not so good. Take those lessons with you, but put those people away and close the door.
Secondly, be prepared for the new people to remind you of that last person and/or relationship. Don’t be surprised. We tend to repeat patterns and if they are positive healthy patterns let the process work. If the new person is pushing the same buttons and triggering negative emotions move on and move forward.
Thirdly, remember dating is practice. It teaches us what we want and don’t want. Nothing is ever perfect and if we hold onto the past the future will never come. Remember, stop and pay attention. Let go and enjoy yourself.
I have always been a contradiction even to myself…1/3 impetuous adventurer, free spirit, willing to try “most things” from scuba diving the Great Barrier to skiing Aspen…to living in Japan for several years in my early twenties. 1/3 traditional romantic idealist, who roots for the underdog, believes in karma – that good guys/women finish first, and believes in happy endings. 1/3 responsible, fiercely independent and trying to live up to the expectations of others and most importantly, for what I have set up for myself.
I am a sassy single woman in her mid-thirties who continues to evolve and take risks, not sure where my path may lead but recognizing “change” is generally never a bad thing. As such, after 14 years of a comfortable life in the burbs of D.C., I picked up and moved to NYC to try my hand as a city gal….
under Online Dating
Does dating have to be difficult? That depends on who you ask. How many times have you made a list, marked the important qualities, and rejected those who did not live up to your expectations? I know for me it has happened more times then I can actually count. How does one get out of this space? It’s time to make a new list. For me it will begin with keeping my mind and heart open to whatever comes my way. Of course, I have specific qualities I believe I can’t live without. I dare you to find someone who doesn’t. However, times are a changing and life can be exciting if I allow it to be.
I think I will start this journey looking at people who are completely different then what I am accustomed to. I am going to give myself to this process and enjoy every second of it. My best guess is I will date many people who I don’t click with, but the reason I am here is to find the one I do click with. Who knows, going about this differently could actually work. I’m willing to give it a shot, are you?
under Online Dating
Well, I’m SweetLo, your average 24 year old just trying to survive the dating scene in the city of angels. Born and raised in Los Scandalous, I learned early on that in the royal tradition of former inhabitants of my silver-screen laden city that most guys I met were in fact playing a part; and that I was even lucky to find someone else from the same state, let alone city, when I went over the hill into Hollywood. This hasn’t exactly discouraged me.
In fact, it’s quite the race to find a nice Jewish boy, whom I think recently was added to the endangered species list. So I occupy my time by working out and going out with the girls, always optimistic that the night will be fun, an experience, and always an adventure. I am almost twenty five and I’m still putting my relationship status in quotation marks as if my actions are alleged and I’m liable to change beaus at a moment’s notice. Or perhaps they’ll trade me in for a different model. It’s a tricky business when you gamble on love, but if you don’t play big, you’ll never win big. It seems it’s simply a matter of deciding how much you’re willing to bet, and most gals would give anything in hopes of a happily ever after. So I guess Whitney has the City, Lauren has the Hills, and I have Hollyweird; let the games begin.