Sometimes, in this city that never sleeps, where everyone around you is diving into the wedding pool and you’re still treading water, it feels like nothing can pull you out. So you send out an S.O.S. distress because you’re getting tired of wading through the water. There’s always more fish in the sea – but fishing isn’t really your sport (you’re less than athletically gifted,) so you grab on to the closest raft and tag along on someone else’s journey until you gain enough strength to let go and hop back in the water. If you’re lucky, some seriously great timing will have you sailing on the love boat in some two-ships-passing-in-the-night scenario before you sink 20,000 leagues under the sea. Those even less fortunate will probably end up on next year’s “Shark Week,” featured as some less-than-flattering fish food. So in order to avoid the former not-so-friendly scenario, sit back, rest on a raft for a few. Just make sure you gain back that great white appetite of yours before some other girl gets hooked by a totally tan yacht owner. Even when the waters are rough, remember that you can always dodge the deadliest catch. And hey, if you do start to drown, there’s always a hot lifeguard to save you – and the incentive couldn’t get sexier!
Archive for August, 2009
With online dating being mainstream these days, it seems a little odd when you discover someone who doesn’t utilize the resource…why wouldn’t you? It is self marketing and you don’t have to lift a finger at the outset. The tides have turned from where people socialized in bars wondering if the “one” could be there too; and asking friends for set ups…to sitting on the couch clicking away. As singletons, we have become somewhat lazy. Why go out (if you are exhausted after a long day) when you can have probably a better batting average clicking away? Regardless if it is online or in-person, the end result is determined by in-person chemistry and in my humble opinion the sooner you meet “live” the better. The upside is, while clicking you can watch that hysterical Seinfeld rerun in your pjs knowing that most people online are looking for that same elusive “one”.
I am 60 years old and I am considered highly attractive and fit (not petite, but muscular). I am educated, well-traveled, accomplished both in business and the kitchen and consider myself loving, kind & very funny. Ego is NOT the issue! I am strong minded & well read and will tell you my opinion (usually fact based) if asked. Am I just too old? My children are grown, married, launched, I have a grandchild – and NO PETS-what’s wrong????
Dear Senior Dating,
You sound like a great catch! I’m not even sure what your question is, but my best guess is you are not getting responses from the people on JDate you are interested in meeting.
You are not too old, not even close. Get that thought out of your mind. Negative thinking is no way to start a search for a potential mate. There are many singles in your age-range looking to meet and date someone like yourself. Perhaps you possess qualities that appear too good to be true. Maybe try toning it down just a bit and see what happens. There are people out there who can become intimidated by someone as secure with themselves as you appear to be. You sound like you can do it all, so perhaps add to your profile that you are searching for someone to compliment who you are. No one wants to take a back seat so make it very clear you are looking for an equal in a partner.
You sound like you have a lot going for you. Stay strong and keep up the search!
Gems from Jen
Trying to figure out quickly if your date is a potential keeper? With some keen observation, A LOT of information is revealed during that first (or possibly last meal).
-Does your date take their time reviewing the menu and processing, or are they quick to order?
-Does your date treat the server with kindness; address the server by their name? *In my book this is huge and, at times, a sign of how they treat people in general.
-Does your date offer to share whatever they ordered?
-Does your date use their cell/BlackBerry during the meal – a total turn off?
-Upon receipt of the check, does your date (whomever asked for the date) take the check and move it to their side rather than the check hang uncomfortably in the middle?
-Does your date offer to assist with the check?
-Does your date offer you the seat with the atmospheric view?
These are just a few things, but much can be revealed about your date within the hour of that first meal.
I went to Trader Vic’s yesterday to lounge poolside with the girls. Being the Cali chick that I am, I of course hid in the shade, coconut cocktail in hand, observing the people around me. Through the SPF 75 I was sporting it was still a scene I’d seen before. Girls were completely oblivious to the guys around them, and spent most of their afternoon talking trash about their fellow female competitors. Ladies, if we spent less time worrying about ‘why she’s with whom,’ you’d probably meet someone as well. Then, you could be the girl people ask the eternal question about! Hey, all press is good press, right? Just because we live in Los Anjealous doesn’t mean we can’t be discreet about our insult impulse! Word vomit does not count as bulimia, so if you’re doing it to stay sans a few pounds, it won’t work. Scan the scene, and then zero in on someone worth talking about – like that cute guy in the corner. You two will be raising the Fahrenheit factor in no time, while giving them something to talk about.
Ayn Rand, author, screenwriter and the originator of the philosophical theory of Objectivism is, in fact, Jewish. Rand was born Alisa Zinov’yevna Rosenbaum in 1905 to Zinovy Zacharovich and Anna Borisovna Rosenbaum, largely non-practicing middle-class Jews in St. Petersburg, Russia. At a young age she experienced Bolshevik tyranny when her father’s pharmacy was confiscated by the Soviets. In an attempt to free themselves from oppression, the family temporarily fled to Crimea and later returned to St. Petersburg. Rand immigrated to the United States in 1926 and after a chance meeting with film director Cecil B. DeMille, she landed a job as film extra and later, a script reader. Rand’s first literary success came in 1932 with the sale of her anti-Communist screenplay, Red Pawn, to Universal Studios.
Rand’s first major success came with the publication of 1943’s The Fountainhead. Both a romantic and philosophical novel, The Fountainhead traces the story of architect Howard Roark and his struggle against those who attempt to live through others. The novel became a worldwide success and continues to sell about 100,000 copies a year. After the success of her novel, Rand begin to engage in political activism, speaking in favor of individualism and free-market capitalism.
In 1957, Rand published her 1,100 page magnum opus, Atlas Shrugged, which advocates the core tenets of her theory of Objectivism. The plot involves a dystopian United States in which the creative industrialists, scientists and artists go on strike and retreat to a hideaway where they build an independent, free economy. Atlas Shrugged became another worldwide hit and continues to sell over 200,000 copies annually. In her later years, Rand formed “The Collective,” a group of intellectuals, including Alan Greenspan, that met to discuss philosophy and promote Objectivism. Rand died of heart failure in 1982 but her philosophy and writings have influenced generations of prominent minds including philosophers, economists, historians, artists and politicians.
What would help me to make a connection with someone after having already tried emails, Flirts and Instant Messages?
My first suggestion is to move on to the next profile that you find interesting. If someone isn’t responding after several attempts of trying to gain their attention, it usually means they are not interested. Not that this is always the case, but it generally tends to be. My belief is if someone receives messages and they are not interested in establishing a connection it is common courtesy to let the person know in a polite manner that they do not feel that it is a good match. You don’t want to come across as harassing, so it sounds to me as if it is time to focus your attention elsewhere.
Gems from Jen
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I went out on a first date with someone who I met from JDate and we really had an awesome time, talking, kissing and hugging and it was really a very beautiful night. I asked her before she left, if she would like to go out the following weekend and she said ‘yes’ and said ‘I hope you think of me.’ Well, I have been thinking of her, let my guard down and am really intrigued by her. I called her two days later and also sent her a text just telling her I had a super time and she is a beautiful woman and that I’m looking forward to hearing back from her. How much time should I expect for her to call me and if she doesn’t, should I call her or just forget it and mark it up to a game?
This sounds like an amazing first date, Mazel tov! It seems to me that she is just as interested in a second date with you, as you are with her. Part of what happens when we meet someone we really like that our patience tends to run thin. Many people, just like yourself, become hyper-sensitive to the actions, behaviors, and words of the new and exciting person. This is a common reaction and one that sounds as if it is being driven by your feelings rather than your mind.
Remember, patience is a virtue. I wish I could tell you when she is going to call, but unfortunately, I can’t. My sense is she will call you back based on what you have told me thus far. If she does not call you back within a few days, feel free to call her again. In this day and age many things can go wrong with voice mails, emails, text messages, etc. I’m not sure why you would even be considering chalking this up to a game. Stop yourself from putting a negative spin on this situation. Once you begin to do this it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might react to her with anger because you have made a situation up in your mind, which in reality was never there. Stay positive and remind yourself of the great connection the two of you obviously shared!
Gems from Jen