Dear Gems from Jen,
I am a 31-year-old female who’s super new to the JDating scene and the dating scene in general (just got out of a long term relationship). I was lucky enough to find someone right away who I really seem to click with and we have exchanged a few emails back and forth. I think I would like to actually meet this person, but am not sure how to take things to the next level. Is it ok for me to offer my phone number or suggest meeting up or should I be waiting for him to make all the first moves? (This guy seems great and I don’t want to scare him off.)
Dear JDating Etiquette,
I’m not so sure there is a “right” answer here. If the two of you are clicking, I do not see anything wrong with giving your phone number as long as you feel safe and comfortable doing so. I do believe meeting in person should be a natural progression. Once you have had a few phone calls with this guy and if you are still feeling a connection, suggesting a face-to-face meeting seems totally appropriate.
I do understand not wanting to scare him off by being too forward and/or direct. Most of us women are taught from a very early age to allow the man to be the pursuer. I am not saying this is either right or wrong; it is just something we learn from an early age. However, I do believe if there is something you want, then go for it. My suggestion would be to feel this guy out and take it from there. See if he is giving you cues that he would like to talk on the phone and/or meet in person. He might be shy or scared of rejection. My best guess is if he is continuing to engage you through email he is interested. Trust your instincts and enjoy the connection you seem to have made!
Gems from Jen