A former boyfriend (a Jewish FBI agent – who knew they existed – and yes, he always packed heat) in his intelligence officer role once stated to me “Fear motivates people one way or the other”. A simplistic and obvious comment but one that has stayed with me for many years. I know folks who have committed to their significant other out of fear of losing that person in their life. On the contrary, I know some who have chosen not to get engaged and give something a chance for fear of getting hurt.
Fear can be crippling and no question having a broken heart is not much fun, but when friends have come to me saddened because a relationship did not take the route they had hoped, as much as it sucks, the mere fact that they were able to “feel” enough to be upset – I think, is a wonderful gift. All too often, there is so much indifference that exists around us, including in the dating world. A beat isn’t missed if Mr. Wall Street does not call for a second date, because there always seems to be another possibility around the corner. Especially, in the city that never sleeps.
I guess what I’m saying is the minor scrape or profound bruise that may take several months to heel is worth the possibilities. Because the bottom line is – the chance to be more that indifferent does not happen that often, no matter where you are. Face the worst-case scenario (being hurt) and though it may take weeks or months to feel in a good place, the band-aid will eventually come off and the potential upside is way too great to not risk being engaged.