Friend or Foe

by Tamar Caspi under JBloggers,JDate

Dear Tamar,

I met a senior citizen on JDate 4 yrs ago — I am also a senior. We see each other 3 times a week, speak to each other a few times every day and share things with each other. He just sent me a birthday card expressing what a wonderful friend I am and how invaluable I am in his life. According to him, there is nothing in life to be valued like a friend. Every time I hear that word I cringe.  Am I wrong?

Dear Friend or Foe,

Are you wrong? In a word, NO. But unfortunately it’s not so simple. Four years is a long time to be spending with someone, whether you’re in your late-30’s and your biological clock is ticking or a septuagenarian and that “other” clock is ticking — why waste precious time with someone if they don’t like you as more than a friend? Go ahead and cringe, I understand.

If the card is the only thing that concerns you, then simply mention it to him or leave it be. But if there are many more signs where that came from, than do yourself a favor and reactivate your JDate membership. Are you looking to get married again or for companionship which includes moving in together? Because after 4 years one of those options should be in progress by now. Regardless of what you want from him or what you expect from him, after 4 years you deserve an explanation.