Great Expectations

by Tamar Caspi under JBloggers,Online Dating,Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I was supposed to have a first date with a man last week. Subsequently he canceled because he had to go out of town. We rescheduled for two weeks.  He calls me daily and we have wonderful conversations. We both already feel like we know each other.  Is talking too much before meeting a recipe for disaster? I know he is attractive and I love talking to him. I believe he feels the same.  I’m concerned that when we meet it might go too fast.

Thanks.

Dear Great Expectations,

I don’t recommend talking TOO much before meeting. I was disappointed WAAAAYYYY too many times because my date and I both had built up expectations of each other that neither one of us could realistically meet. No matter the chemistry on the phone, you may not have chemistry in person and it will be incredibly awkward on your date. I suggest tapering off the phone calls until you meet so that you don’t get your hopes up. You can either tell him your concern or just be “busy.” I advise one short phone call to hear the person’s voice and to make plans, which would ideally be within the week.

If everything does fall into place, it’s up to you to set the pace.  If it’s true that you think you know each other better than you do, and a 1st date after many phone calls actually feels like a 3rd date , you can get caught up in the momentum. Just take a step back and, instead of taking it too far, make a date for a few days later. Good Luck!