For several months now, a close friend of mine has been going through a rough stretch in that it is difficult for him to meet women. He has a great personality and the uncanny ability to talk to anyone and make them feel comfortable, despite the situation he finds himself in. Like him, when I got out of a long-term relationship last May, I went through a comparable stretch where I tried to get back into the dating scene but lacked the confidence and emotional availability necessary to thrive in that environment.
Recently, my friend asked me about how JDate was going and I told him that I was enjoying the experience of meeting some really interesting people. And yet, while he has always been supportive of my foray into online dating, he has never been able to see himself in that world. It’s not because he has any prejudices or negative preconceived notions about Internet dating; it’s more that he viewed joining an online dating site as admitting defeat. Through this admission I was able to understand his perspective that, in spite of his recent dating frustrations and lack of success, he wasn’t ready to give up on conventionality.
Anyone who knows me will vouch for the fact that I don’t believe it’s my place to try to convince anyone to join an online dating site. However, I am not hesitant when the subject is brought up by others to point out its virtues and how it has helped me. The other night, while my friend and I were at dinner, I sensed a change in his tone as he questioned me about online dating. As such, I took the opportunity to explain to him what I believe to be the most significant way that being on JDate has helped me.
Over the past few months of being an active member on JDate, my dating confidence has grown significantly. Because of the extensive online community, the pressure and stress of meeting women in everyday situations was taken away and I quickly gained back the self-assurance necessary to open conversations, chat with, and go out on first dates with women. Furthermore, after feeling successful and gaining momentum on JDate, it has been much easier for me to talk to women that I meet in the same everyday situations where I had previously lacked all forms of confidence.
Almost immediately after I finished expressing this sentiment, my friend’s demeanor and perspective on online dating seemed to change. It was like a light bulb turned on in his head after realizing the numerous ways he could benefit from sites like JDate. In fact, later that night after returning home from dinner, he created a profile and thus began his online dating adventure. I can honestly say I’m happy he did so because, bottom line, everyone deserves a chance at getting their dating confidence back.