I refuse to believe chivalry is dead. It’s not that I can’t open my own door or drive myself to the restaurant or pay for my own meal, but when a man does it for me, I feel special.
I remember a JDate I met whose efforts were too forced and too obvious, and it was silly, really. He would say my name too often, which was probably a sales technique he learned to help remember names and make the person feel special, but instead it had the opposite effect and came off as insincere. When I answered the phone I heard “Hi Tamar!” When he left me a voicemail it was “Hi Tamar!” Each and every text message read “Hi Tamar!” It was just too much, too over the top and simply annoying.
Another JDate I remember lacked simple table manners. He didn’t put his napkin on his lap, chewed with his mouth open, talked with food in his mouth and held his fork like a pendulum over his plate and his elbows on the table. Ick.
One JDate extended the “ladies first” etiquette to me, but apparently the same didn’t extend to my female friends. One night a bunch of us went out and he opened the door for me but let it swing shut on my girlfriend. When we were getting our wristbands for the club, he stuck his hand in front of hers and as we were walking through the club he cut her off to walk behind me. Respect me by respecting my friends.
Another thing that bothers me is the indecisiveness. I was asked out on more dates than I can count where the man would ask me where we should go after I was already in the car. Excuse me? Here’s some advice: make a reservation at a nice restaurant and leave a decent tip. I don’t care how much the bill was, but I do care how you treat the server.
Listen, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be yourself… just be your most polite, well-mannered self on your very best behavior… at least on the first date!