“Am I Just Completely Incapable of Love?”

by jpompey under Online Dating,Relationships

“I don’t get it.  I go on date after date, and no matter who I go out with, I never seem to find anyone I like!  Is there something wrong with me?  Am I just at an age where I am incapable of falling in love the way I was when I was young?”

Do these thoughts sound familiar to anyone out there?

I remember thinking these thoughts all the time back when I was meeting girls online.  It seemed like month after month I was dating girl after girl and just not getting anywhere.  Each date felt more depressing than the last.   I’d go out, and for the most part, the girls would seem nice, things would even be somewhat entertaining most of the time.  But something was just missing.  I just wasn’t feeling it.    I found myself never having that urge to call a girl for a second or third date.  And when I did wind up calling back, it usually felt forced, as if I was trying so hard to be normal (which would usually seem like normal thoughts to have).  But after months and months, it starts to not feel so normal anymore.

After a long time not finding someone to match up with, I’d feel like there was something wrong with me.  Do we reach an age where we just lose that ability to fall completely in love with someone?  You know the type of love I’m talking about.  Thinking 24/7 about them, always wanting to talk to them, obsessing over every detail of what happens between the both of you.   I sure wasn’t having any of these feelings.  It felt like those feelings were just a distant childhood friend of mine whom I had lost the ability to feel with age.  Not only that, but I felt like a complete screw-up.  Why was everyone else I knew in healthy relationships but I could not seem to meet anyone through online dating?

Why do I bring this up?  Because I know there are a lot of people out there who feel the same way right now.  People who go on date after date and wonder why they can’t meet someone they could picture themselves being a perfect match for.  The truth is, there was nothing wrong with me.  I eventually realized it takes time to meet the perfect person.  A lot of us think we need help with online dating or that something is wrong with us when we can’t find a date after three months.  Think about it.  It seems kind of silly to think that you are going to find the person you are meant to be with for the rest of your life after online three months.  This could take months, even years.  Why settle?  Take each date one date at a time and realize there may be nothing wrong at all.  These things just take time.

Tags: