Dropping the Ball

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

You can lead a camel to water but you can’t make it drink. The same goes for men. I can deliver a Perfect 10 Jewish goddess to a man’s doorstep, but I can’t make him call her.

Such was the case with Lawrence. Lawrence is a great guy: besides being really nice and having good morals, he’s also a successful accountant who owns his own place, has a fantastic sense of humor and a nice head of hair. His only drawbacks are his height – a whopping 5’2 – and his age – 39. Neither make him a lost cause, but those stats have made it somewhat difficult for him on JDate. Luckily he’s open to being set-up… or so I thought.

I consulted my database of single friends and found one girl in particular whom I thought was beyond perfect. Marissa is tiny and petite, just barely 5 feet and probably 100 pounds soaking wet, in her early 30’s and besides having a thriving career as a therapist, she’s also a lot of fun. Her family is active in the community and has a reputation for being a group of super duper nice people. Feeling like I had hit this one on the nose, I started facilitating the match.

I told each of them about each other and they both sounded excited and receptive. I told Marissa that Lawrence would call her and she agreed to let me give him her number. So Lawrence has Marissa’s number… but didn’t use it. One, two, three weeks went by and nothing. I ran into Marissa and she asked what was up and I didn’t have an excuse. Lawrence said he was interested in her so why hadn’t he dialed her number? When I approached him about it, he said again that he would call her and again failed to with no excuse. At this point Marissa was done, she felt rejected and had written him off as a loser. I told Lawrence that, since he screwed up, if he was still interested then he needed to call her and keep calling her until she answered and agreed to go out with him.

What did he do with my advice? He texted her. I seriously could strangle him. Now I realize why he’s about to turn 40 and is as lonely as the last macaroon in the tin after Passover. Marissa was smart enough not to answer the text and I advised her to disregard it and to give him a second (third? fourth?) chance after he put forth some effort. Then I gave Lawrence specific instructions to call her and leave a message and then wait two days and call her again. We’ll see if that happens. I don’t know who is more frustrated – me or Marissa. I’ve now realized that the only person holding Lawrence back from being in a successful relationship is Lawrence himself. If he calls Marissa, I hope she will give him a chance after giving him crap for waiting so long. But I’m not ever setting Lawrence up with another girl just to hurt her feelings before he’s even met her.