E-mail Denial

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

Last summer I created a free JDate profile without a picture. In December I decided to pay for the membership and I got two e-mails from back in July.  I answered one of them and for a day I was on cloud nine.  But the next day I received an e-mail from the guy and he said we were in different places in our lives. He wished me luck and that was the last I am going to hear from him.  I thought we had a lot in common and we live in the same town. I lost my husband and this guy is also a widower and this is my first time venturing out and trying to date. I don’t know what I said exactly in the two or three e-mails that I sent to him, but I must have said something to turn him off to me.  Now, I am afraid to contact anyone else.  I am afraid of rejection in short.  How do I get over this?

Dear E-mail Denial,

A lot of time has passed between when the guy initially e-mailed you and now and you have no way of knowing what has occurred in his life since then. I would write the guy one more e-mail and let him know that if he changes his mind you’d love to hear from him, as you have a lot in common. That’s all you can do and afterwards you need to move on. It sucks but unfortunately that’s the risk you take not paying for a membership and being able to read your e-mail and contact people. Don’t be afraid to contact anyone else… if you have such commonalities with this guy, you will find another one, if not two, three or four more men. Being afraid of rejection is normal, but if you want to meet someone you have to take that risk and not take it personally if someone isn’t interested. Believe me, you will be approached by many a man whom you will not be interested in!