Friends or Lovers?

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I have a really good long-time friend that has always wanted to date me. We flirt but, until recently, were only friends. I finally agreed to go on a date with him and now that I have, I’m completely confused. Did I have a good time because we’re such good friends and I enjoy his company, or is it more? I can’t even tell if I’m really attracted to him or not. I don’t want to hurt him. What do I do?

Dear Friends or Lovers,

You’re definitely in a tough predicament. You run the risk of losing a great friend while you take the risk of finding out if he’s your Beshert. I suggest having this conversation with him if you haven’t already. He’s obviously had the hots for you for many years and wants you to feel the same way so I strongly believe he’d rather you jump in 100% to finding out if it could be true love, rather than play it safe and never know. To be blunt, the only way you’ll know if the chemistry you felt on your date is real is to keep dating and to get intimate. Cuddle, kiss and see how you feel. You know what that feeling is you’re looking for — the tingly sensation, the butterflies, the spark. And regardless of if you do or don’t feel it, make sure you keep the lines of communication open with him. If you don’t feel anything for him, hopefully your honesty will allow him to one day soon resume a friendship; just don’t expect it to happen overnight. If you do feel something, don’t rush into it because you feel so comfortable together. Just take your time and enjoy!