No, I Didn’t Read Your Profile, But You’re Hot

by JeremySpoke under JDate,Online Dating

So what if I didn’t read your profile?  I instant messaged (is that a verb?) you based solely on the first picture on your profile.  I’m going to ask you questions that could easily be answered by reading your profile.  You’re going to angrily answer them knowing all the while that I have not read anything about you.   I want to learn things about you by chatting with you; not by reading the same thing that 300 guys have already read.  I want a unique perspective on your life.  I want nuance.  I want misspellings.  I want imperfection.

Everybody’s ‘About Me’ is essentially the same and I’m tired of reading the same thing.  I already assumed that you love to laugh and that you’re looking for a great guy.  Though, I would love to chat with a girl that hates laughing and is looking for an awful man.  That would be interesting and contrary to basic human instincts.  If you hate laughing, I am really interested in just talking to you.  I want to know why.  I am really curious.  Please.  I don’t think I can give my phone number here, but I live in Houston.  It’s a pretty small town.  Look for the Jewish guy.

Anyway, I am also lazy, and often skip over all of the things that you have written about yourself.  Pictures are so much easier to quickly judge another human being by.  I realize that often people’s profile pictures don’t really represent what they actually look like.  I don’t care.  I like the illusion that I am talking to a beauty queen.  Actually, I don’t even care if you posted pictures of a completely different person.  Virtual reality is better than authentic reality.  Remember the ‘Virtual Reality’ video games at arcades?  How great were they?

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