What does it say about me, and my online dating prowess, that the other night after logging on and viewing who else was online I realized, as I scrolled through the list of women, that I had talked to or declined to talk to, pretty much all of them. For gosh sakes of the 20 or so women online at that time I had gone out on a first date with almost half of them! After this realization I quickly got offline and decided I needed to take a night off from JDating®.
It’s not that I spend all night every night on the site trying to talk to women, but I do scan who’s online most evenings and have been active since the summer. Even though JDate is always welcoming new members, the number of them that fall into the various parameters I have set up for myself on the site is apparently slower then the rapid pace I talk to the women already on.
While I don’t think that this necessarily illustrates anything negative about the way that I conduct myself on JDate I was forced to re-evaluate my approach after getting this perspective on just how active I am on the site. Even though I am someone who tries to give thoughtful responses to emails, and doesn’t want to lead anyone on, after thinking about it I realized that as I’ve become more comfortable on the site I do attempt to talk to more women.
As a result of my new casual approach perhaps I have blurred my ideas of what I’m looking for in a partner and relationship, which could be why none of my first dates in the last 3 months have led to a second. Ultimately I don’t know why I’ve been in a bit of dating rut recently; however, perhaps this most recent realization will help me go back to being more discerning about who I talk to, and therefore will be able to find a woman whom I have a true spark with.