JDate is programmed to automatically send an email whenever someone on the site sends me a message, but that doesn’t always keep me from obsessively checking the site just in case. During the time that I’ve been active on the site it has never failed to send an automated email to me within minutes of my being sent a message; however, there are still times when I can’t help but double check.
On these rare occasions when I compulsively log on to JDate the reason for my behavior is always that I am eagerly anticipating an email from someone that I’ve been corresponding with. In this scenario what specifically causes me to compulsively check the site for new emails is that the person I’ve been having a great email conversation with is taking longer than normal to respond.
In my last email to a woman that I had been having a great correspondence with over JDate, I ended by asking her out for a drink or dinner sometime next week. This, of course, caused me to anticipate her response that much more. Even though I sent my last email on Thursday night I still expected her, even though it was the weekend, to respond in about the same amount of time she had previously.
When she didn’t write back on Friday I figured it was no big deal because she probably went out and didn’t have time, which is a situation that I’ve found myself in during the past. After rationalizing her non response on Friday I honestly did expect to hear something from her on Saturday. However, those 24-hours silently came and went. Sunday was the first day that I began checking my JDate email periodically even though I know I’ll get a message from the site, but I still can’t seem to help it.
It’s almost as though I need to check the site to make sure that she hasn’t emailed me back because it seems too hard to believe that after our previous emails she would end things so abruptly right after I asked her out. Certainly, things happen and there could be a very reasonable explanation why she hasn’t responded (which means that things could still work out). However, tomorrow (Monday) I know that I can’t let myself replicate the compulsive checking I did today, and need to move on to pursuing other fish in the JDate sea.