Many people cite ‘going out to a park for a first date’ as a nice alternative to conventional ways to spend a first date. First, if you’re at a park, you’re very likely to be among children; many children. Many park benches face the playground so that parents and guardians can watch their kids play. Sixty percent of park benches directly face a place where there is a high concentration of children. If none of the children playing in front of you are yours, you need to get out of there.
Children are also capable and ready to ruin your date in other ways. I’m not just talking about kids because I’m listening to a song called Kids via Pandora® radio. Kids, especially very young kids, have an exceptionally annoying tendency to stare at you from close distances. This is true in any environment, but it’s especially true at a park. If you’re having a picnic on a blanket, for example, a kid will walk up to you, sit down, and stare. Giving them food won’t make them go away. Hitting them is not advisable, and may get you arrested. It’s something you just have to keep in mind if you are planning on having a first, or any, date at a park.
Finally, birds. Birds are the worst. There are a lot of birds, of the pigeon variety, at parks. Birds are like flying rats, especially if they are flying rats. Again, if you’re planning on having a picnic, kids won’t be the only distraction between you and your food. As that one child stares at you from a foot away, birds will hover in flocks right above your head. If you give them food, they will multiply in size. If you don’t give them food, they will grow more agitated and might go to the bathroom on you, your date, or your food. Please be aware of all of these things when planning a date at a park.