The Evolution of Waiting

by JeremySpoke under Date Night

The longer you have dated a person, the longer you are willing to wait for them to finish anything.  When you pick up a girl from her house the first time, she answers the door and leaves with you almost immediately.  She is either really excited about going out with you or is so self-conscious about her home that she will not give you the pleasure of seeing the inside of her front door.

The next time you pick her up, it’s a good minute before she answers the door.  She lets you inside, but only to wait in the front room.  She apologizes for her huge, intrusive dog while simultaneously yelling at it.  As she shoves the dog away, she tells you to make yourself at home as she runs upstairs to get her purse.  Just as you are beginning to get comfortable and start to make the place like your home, she is ready to go.

Once you arrive for the third time to pick her up, she doesn’t care anymore.  It might take two minutes for her to answer the door, and she will not care if her giant ogre dog tackles you to the ground.  As you lie on the floor crying, she’s already upstairs yelling on the phone to her mother.  From here, it could take anywhere from five minutes to a day before she comes down again.  By this time, you have developed a complex relationship with her dog.  You are entirely comfortable and have finally made yourself at home on her couch.  You are on your third hour of MSNBC’s Lock Up and know exactly what it’s like to live in a high-security prison.  You have forgotten where you are as you and Buster stare aimlessly towards the television.  (You have named the dog Buster because you couldn’t understand whatever name your date was yelling at it.)  Now, you are in a relationship.

Tags: