Waiting To Be a Widow

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I’m nearly 60 and my wife is terminally ill with cancer, living with round-the-clock nursing care under home hospice. I’m on an emotional roller coaster which levels out when I have contact with people outside of my home. That said, I’ve been trying to meet women on JDate for very casual meetings, but as soon as I describe my situation, I become radioactive. Should I stay home til she dies? Make up a different story? Can you think of a way I can explain this without scaring people away?

Dear Waiting to be a Widow,

I think any woman would cringe upon hearing your story and understandably so. Your wife, although dying (and my sincerest condolences, I hope she’s not suffering), is still alive. I’m not sure JDate is the place for you right this minute, but once you’re done grieving it’s a different story, because honestly I don’t think there’s any way to describe your situation without scaring people away. Try to put yourself in their shoes — if you heard your story out of a woman’s mouth you would be scared, too. I hope you find people to socialize with outside the home to help you keep your sanity and I hope you one day find someone on JDate to spend the rest of your life with.

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