I have a very bad habit that I’m fully able to acknowledge is a very bad habit; however, I still can’t seem to break this very bad habit. I’m fully aware that I need to stop comparing the women I go out with to a specific ex-girlfriend that I dated for a long period of time, and went through a difficult break up with almost two-years ago yet, up until my date yesterday, I still did it.
It could have been because I had a long day at work, or maybe it was the fact that I was running late and thus rushing to make it on time, or maybe it was just a change in the weather, I don’t know, but in any case my date yesterday was the first time I went out with a woman and didn’t compare any aspects of the date, or her, to my ex-girlfriend.
Of course I don’t expect that if I see this woman again that I will never think of my interactions, or perhaps eventual relationship, with her in comparison to my past one; but the fact that I didn’t do it on our first date was encouraging. At 27, I am well aware that I am carrying some substantial baggage but, then again, so are the women who I go out with and for both of us that’s okay.
Perhaps it’s strange that I compare the women I go on dates with to an ex-girlfriend, and certainly I’m not going to announce this to any of them, but perhaps the fact that I didn’t do it yesterday signals that, while I’ll never forget my ex-girlfriend or our relationship, I’m ready to stop using her, and us, as the standard for my relationships moving forward.