Have you ever tried to meet someone outside of JDate? It ain’t easy. You have to utilize your J-Dar and even then it’s not always accurate. JDate is the only place you can securely go to find only Jews (although the rare goy joins sometimes) but the reality is you are going to meet people in public. You don’t want to begin a conversation with a guy and possibly start to like him before you know if he’s Jewish. But you also can’t exactly come right out and ask him, because let’s face it, that’s a bit odd. So, you have to use your instinct and resort to asking subtle questions or making sly comments that will hopefully solve the mystery.
Years ago a girlfriend and I went a new sports bar to watch football’s biggest game of the year. A tall, hot guy with warm brown eyes looked my way and then sent over drinks before joining us. His name was Jason and my J-Dar thought there could be a possibility he was Jewish, but Julie was adamant he was anything but. Out of the blue, Julie asks him if he prayed for a Patriots win that morning. His answer: he had gone to Mass the night before. Score one for Julie. Not only was this guy not a Yid, he was Irish Catholic.
My girlfriends and I have placed bets on a guy’s Jew probabilities. The odds are, nine times out of ten he isn’t, but sometimes that one guy sneaks in under the J-Dar without any of us noticing.
On Valentine’s Day a few years ago, my girlfriend Miryam and I were both single so we decided to go out and get our flirt on. We ended up at a new lounge where I immediately saw another tall, attractive man with deep brown eyes (yes, I have a type). Miryam’s J-Dar didn’t even flicker, and I actually agreed with her, but it being Valentine’s Day and me being single, I decided to throw caution to the wind and flirt my heart out. His name was Stephen and in a shocking turn of events, he actually asked me if I was Jewish. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I answered yes and a huge smile spread across his face while he exclaimed that he too was Jewish. He told me he was really excited because he never meets attractive Jewish girls out on the town. I asked him if he ’s ever gone to any Jewish events and of course his answer was no. Gotta admit that was a huge turn-off: if he wanted to meet a Jewish girl so badly, then why was he wasting his time bar-hopping?
If your J-Dar’s not working, try using Hebrew and Yiddish phrases during normal conversation and see if he picks up on it. This is both a subtle and entertaining way to find out if a guy is Jewish.
My friend Sara and I were once at a bar when two good looking guys approached. My J-Dar was all over the place and Sara didn’t seem to have much of a clue either. That’s when I slipped in an “oy vey” as two waitresses nearly collided. Sara picked up on my plan and added a “la’breut” when one of the guys sneezed. But it was when the guys bought us drinks and we toasted with a “l’chaim” that we knew we had our answer: the two guys looked so helpless and confused Sara and I started giggling. The goys must have thought we were totally mishegas with our shtick. Feh!
If you really want to go to a “normal” bar to meet someone Jewish, then try going to a bar in Tel Aviv. No guessing involved. And it’s not technically a Jewish organized event, it just happens to be a bar in the Jewish State of Israel. If you’re able to find out where the “Anglo” bar is, you may even meet yourself an American Jew about to graduate from Medical School at Tel Aviv University who’s applied for an internship at a nearby hospital. Every mother’s dream!
Keep being active on JDate, but if you’re caught meeting someone in public and you’re questioning their religion, remember the tips above. But you never know… that guy wearing a cross may have some cute, single Jewish friends that he would be happy to introduce you to.