Oscar® Fever. Early spring fever. Sick times out there!
In honor of Hollywood’s upcoming biggest night, followed immediately by the night we no longer remember who won, I thought I’d announce a few awards of my own. If all the world’s a stage, we’re the players, right? If I can’t pilfer from a guy who’s been dead 400 years, who can I pilfer from? In case Shakespeare is watching, make that “whom.”
Best supporting actress on the first and last date: Those of you who convincingly said, “I had fun.”
Best supporting actor on the first and last date: Those of you who convincingly said, “I’ll call you.”
Best song and dance: Those of you who convincingly said, “I was looking at your eyes!”
Best director: Those of you who said, “Slower.”
Best picture: The one on your profile you no longer resemble.