Ten Minute Rule

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,Online Dating

I have a ten minute rule for JDate phone calls — once you meet a prospect on JDate and exchange phone numbers then the man should call within 48 hours of receiving the email and then spend 10 minutes on the phone. At this point in your relationship the phone should be used to make plans, not get to get to know each other further. If both of you read this post and therefore go into the phone call knowing it should only last 10 minutes and to use the time to make plans then the phone call should be easy-breezy. But you can’t assume someone has read this, which means the call should like this:

Guy: Hi this Guy, may I speak with Gal please?

Gal: This is she.

Guy: Hi, this is Guy from JDate. How are you?

Gal: I’m good thanks, how are you?

Guy: I’m great! I’m actually really busy today (say this even if you aren’t) but I wanted to call you because I want to make plans to get together before the week is over. Are you free either Thursday night or Saturday night for dinner (give two options)?

Gal: I already have plans Thursday (say this even if you don’t) but I’m available on Saturday.

Guy: Awesome, it’s a date. I remember you wrote that you lived Downtown. So would Restaurant #1 work or would you prefer Restaurant #2 (two options that are mid-priced but different in case she has a food preference or allergy, etc)?

Gal: Good suggestions! Restaurant #1 is one of my favs but I’ve heard great things about Restaurant #2 so let’s go there!

Guy: Perfect. I’ll make reservations for 8:00 and see you there, ok?

Gal: Looking forward to it. Thanks for taking care of everything.

Guy: Have a great week! Bye!

Gal: You too! Bye!

So as you can see, there was no pressure, it was easy and it was quick. The man was decisive and made plans and took charge. The woman was appreciative and agreeable. Dating is difficult enough; don’t make it any harder on yourself.


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