The Fling’s Speech

by JeremySpoke under Date Night,Success Stories

Despite my horrible attempt at a pop culture/what’s going on right now in my life/pun/blog post title, I think I am going to continue writing because I want you to know that I’m about more than just terrible titles. I’m about content.

I lost my voice yesterday. I don’t know what caused this. It was either from sleeping in a weird position or from constantly yelling at the top of my lungs whenever anything slightly inconvenient happens to me on a more than daily basis. I have gotten to the point where, even if I’m not mad about anything, I yell whenever I’m by myself because I feel that there is something going on that I need to be pissed off about.

I felt the full wrath of my own anger this morning when I went to  pay for breakfast and no words came out of my mouth. This wouldn’t have been a big deal if my job didn’t require 8 straight hours of nonstop talking. However, it appears that that is exactly what my job requires. Hopefully my voice will have recovered somewhat by tomorrow.

However, this got me to thinking (once I realized I needed a topic that I needed to write about that had to somehow relate to dating). Going an entire day without the ability to talk is a lot more frustrating than you might think. There are so many things that I want to say, all of the time. Now I guess I realize why I’m still single. I never shut up. What if I went out on a date without the ability to speak? I think that this is a terrific idea. Every single mistake that I have ever made has involved me talking. It certainly isn’t my looks. I’m pretty self-conscious, but I know I’m a good-looking guy. What if I just sat there for two-and-a-half hours and never said a word? Just sat there and pretended to listen and nodded and looked pretty. And then when I would call her later I wouldn’t say anything. And then we would get married and I would never say anything. We would never fight and we would be happy together.

Either that or I will wake up tomorrow with the ability to speak.

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