Both Ways

by JeremySpoke under Single Life

It is very difficult to write while upset. Okay, let me qualify that. It is very easy to write while upset. It is very difficult to write something happy while upset.

I could go off on horrible, horrifying tangents right now. However, I’ve found, through the evolution of the different blogs I’ve maintained, that people respond more to positivity. However, by ‘people’, I mean ‘that one guy that accidentally went to jdate.com/blog instead of jdate.com’ and by ‘positivity’ I mean ‘not talking about nervous breakdowns.’ People dislike self-pity, and they dislike seeing this self-pity being reflected in themselves even more.

A great escape for me when I’m depressed is television. I know that the intellectual solution to depression is reading, but I think a lot of people lie when they neglect to mention that they watch television when they’re feeling down. Of course, not all television is good for depression. Reality shows are generally terrible. Not for depression. They’re just terrible. Also, anything that airs on MSNBC on the weekends is horribly depressive. I’m not being political here. Watch MSNBC on a weekend. It’s either a documentary about prison life, To Catch a Predator, a documentary marathon about sex slavery, ten-year-old Dateline episodes spotlighting serial killers, or this caught on camera show about people dying in the worst possible ways. Otherwise, television can be therapeutic. There’s always a sitcom in syndication on somewhere. Television law states that at all times either The Big Bang Theory, Seinfeld, How I Met Your Mother, 30 Rock, or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is on.

It seems like the better my life continues to get, the worse I feel. I don’t want to go into detail about all of the great things about my life right now because A. I don’t want to jinx anything and B. I don’t want you to get all jealous about my brand new tie and the dollar bill I found on the ground yesterday.

Two years ago, I was fat, single, and broke. Everything was awful, yet I didn’t feel all that bad. I wasn’t overly anxious or depressed. I just thought to myself, ‘Yeah, life sucks, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy this enormous bacon hamburger.’ Now my life is completely opposite, yet I’m inexplicably anxious and depressed, and I have no idea why. Maybe I can’t have it both ways. I choose this lifestyle. For now.


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