Listen To Me

by JeremySpoke under Single Life,Success Stories

I can now legitimately give advice about dating. Listen to everything I’ve said so far in all 199 of my posts. I am a genius. Even if it sounds counter intuitive. Do everything I have said. Show no manners on a date. Wear whatever you want. Take her to the movies on the first date. Yell loudly and make her pay for everything. You will eventually get the girl you really like, it may just take a very, very long time.

Sure, you can take the easy way. Be a great guy all the time, and thus attract women immediately. Or you can be terrible at everything, for funsies. Be gross and horrible all the time, and then blog about how you can’t meet women. And then keep writing about it over and over, until you eventually run out of things to write about and keep retreading over the same topics, glossing them over with progressively more fancy words so you can pass yourself off as some intellectual humorist, when really you’re dying inside and just want a little acceptance.

So, something clicked, and I got my life together, and met a great girl who seemed to like me. So now you all have to listen to me. All you have to do is completely transform your life, lose ninety pounds, painfully recondition yourself and establish a routine, completely change your personality, and get a good job. It is so easy, and not at all painful, time-consuming, mentally debilitating, or in any way leaves you vulnerable to sweat-induced panic attacks.

So, there you go. I think writing about dating will be easier now that I’m actually dating somebody I like, and that I think likes me as well. This will be a lot easier on my mind than struggling and then writing about the same struggles over and over. Of course, a lot of what I write on here is not about dating at all. That makes writing a lot more pleasurable, and hopefully more readable.

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