I hope that my recent run-in with motivation will continue to last now that I’m dating someone. The entire reason that I motivated myself in the first place was to find a girl. Now that I’ve found her, I’m finding it really hard to not constantly eat ribs and then immediately fall asleep, and then wake up once the acid from the ribs and sauce start burning my heart.
I think I’m deep enough into a productive routine to not fall back into that endless cycle of ribs/sleep/acid reflux. However, I now fully understand how people in relationships can really let themselves go. When my diet was at its height, I once had to pass out cupcakes, and got a bit of frosting on my fingertip, and instead of licking it off, I walked down the hall, into the bathroom, and wiped it off with a towel. Today, I wouldn’t pass out cupcakes in the first place because I would have eaten all of them and then gone to get some ribs.
Though my diet has eased up a bit, I’m really not letting myself go yet. I hope my girlfriend doesn’t end up liking me too much. I need to have a constant fear of rejection, or I will implode. For every compliment I receive, that’s the caloric equivalent of one extra cupcake per week. But please do not stop complimenting me. I’m emotionally weak, but I’d rather be physically weak.
Being unhealthy and not alone is perfectly acceptable to me. However, being unhealthy and alone is not. What good is some good ribs heartburn if you have nobody’s face to burp into? I think that is the definition of love.