When Long Term Love Becomes A Break-Up

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Once you hit your 30’s, dating for any lengthy period of time and then breaking up takes even more of a toll on you then it did when you were an angst-ridden teenager. When you’re in high school or college, one year felt like an eternity and a break-up was “literally” the end of the world, when of course in retrospect it was barely a drop in life’s bucket. But when you’re 30+ years old, a one year relationship truly does feel like an eternity… especially when it ends in heartbreak. You’ve spent one year (or more) at “prime” marrying-age with a partner who didn’t end up being who you thought he or she was. Or the relationship didn’t end up going in the direction you hoped when you entered into it. Most people start dating with a more serious mindset in their 30’s because they’re no longer looking for someone to fool around with, but to spend the rest of their lives with. After you dedicate your time, energy, hopes and dreams to that person — and it ends — you’re upset that it wasn’t “the one” and even more upset that you “wasted” your time.

It’s definitely tougher to absorb the shock of a break-up after 30, but you must try to see it as a learning opportunity otherwise you will go sink into a depression which will make dating that much more difficult. Take some time to think about the person you were before this last relationship and how much better of a person you are now. Whether it’s because you are more compassionate or more patient, whether it’s because your former partner taught you a new skill or motivated you in your career, or whether it’s because you now know that green eyes and flat abs are not as important as morals and values, you are better than you were before. You are. With age comes wisdom. And if you don’t feel like you learned anything about yourself during the course of the relationship then try to learn something about yourself during the course of the break-up. And be double-thankful that you are out of that relationship because if that partner wasn’t making you become a better person then you didn’t need to be with him or her anyways.


Leave a Reply


five + = 8