There’s a train of thought that you shouldn’t take things too seriously when it comes to dating, that if you’re relaxed and not “looking” for your husband or wife and just out to have fun, then you will meet someone. I agree and disagree. I believe you need to make an effort to find your dates — improving your JDate profile, expanding your search preferences, going to Jewish events — and you should take that process seriously, but once on a date, you shouldn’t act like you’re on a mission. No one wants to feel such pressure while they’re on a date. You should have fun on your dates whether you know right away that he or she is not your Beshert or if you don’t figure it out til the end of the night. You made the effort, you’re dressed up, you’re meeting someone new — don’t take yourself too seriously and try to have fun regardless of the circumstances. Life is too short. And if the date is an absolute disaster, take it in stride and then have a few laughs with your friends about the absurdity of it all. If the date is awesome, you know your date likes you for you and not for the fake persona you put on.
Archive for January, 2012
Kate Hudson was recently chosen to be the new face of Ann Taylor®. Hudson, who is part Jewish, says, “The new Ann Taylor is not afraid to be sexy and real. The clothes are stylish and comfortable, easy and wearable.”
Ann Taylor sings equal praises for their new spokeswoman. The clothing retailer Tweeted on Tuesday, “We’re proud to announce the new face of Ann Taylor for Spring 2012 – Kate Hudson! #KateisthenewAnn.” In a press release, the company went on to say “She is also a devoted mother, daughter, sister and philanthropist who manages to do it all with a radiant smile, joie de vivre and effortless style.”
Model mama Josie Maran and boyfriend, Ali Alborzi, announced the former Dancing With The Stars contestant is pregnant with baby number two! The two already have a daughter, 5-year-old Rumi Joon.
Maran, who is of Russian-Jewish descent on her paternal side, Tweeted on Tuesday, “Yes, it’s true! I’m having baby no. 2! So thrilled!”
Bethenny Frankel’s reality show will return in February for what appears to be a highly emotional season. People.com recently posted a first look at what’s coming up on Bethenny Ever After this season. The most dramatic moment comes during a big fight with the Jewish reality star’s husband Jason who is seen walking away and saying, “I’m done!”
Is he really done though? Probably not. Last week Frankel Tweeted a picture of her husband at mealtime saying, “My husband is eating a veggie burger w soy cheese on a sprouted bun w baked fries & veggie chili. This is historic!!” Sounds like everything is still going well in the Frankel household.
Your photos are old. Your photos don’t look like you. You haven’t taken a good photo since you created your JDate profile. You haven’t snapped a shot of yourself with your new facial hair/bangs/without your braces/clear skin/etc. Forget the reasons, forget the excuses, it’s time.
Go freshen up. Shave. Put on make up. Brush your hair. Whatever you need to do to look your best.
Grab your cell phone.
Go to the mirror.
Start snapping photos from different angles, with different lighting, making different facial expressions. Keep snapping away. Don’t stop snapping. Now go upload those photos to your laptop and send them ALL to one trusted friend/relative.
Pick a few that you like the best and compare with the ones your friend likes the best. Whichever are the ones that overlap, use them as your JDate photos.
Do it now.
I have spent my life trying to find a practical answer to this riddle, and finally came across a viable answer. And the answer is that there is no answer as this is a self-nullifying prophecy. Put simply, if you are trying to check out a good-looking woman without yourself looking creepy by looking at her, you are already inherently creepy for having that thought in the first place. Any man who is not at all creepy would never look at a stranger more than once. Therefore, any man who looks at a woman is creepy. We are so screwed. Well, I guess technically we’re not at all screwed.
Do you think that if you walk past a woman and don’t look back at her that she will think you’re this super great guy? Do you think that that guy across the street who saw you checking her out from behind is actually god in disguise? Are you legally blind? If you answered ‘no’ to any of the previous questions, god bless you. You’re the reason that douchebags still exist and the only hope for humanity’s future, as the nicer, more shy guys have much less of a chance of procreating.
There is a very thin line between self-confidence and arrogance. How do men who are perfect balance the two? How do you notice a girl, let her know that you’re noticing her, and simultaneously let her know that you’re not some creepy guy who notices girls even though that’s exactly what you just did? I guess I will never know.
Wouldn’t it be comforting if in-person chatting on that all-important first date provided the safety nets and assurances of texting and online chatting? Namely emoticons. If I tell you a little about myself, and you say it’s interesting, how am I to know you really meant it, unless you utter it with conviction? Here’s how: If, after you say it, you tilt your head to the side and flash a big grin… : ) If it’s good enough for our computer screens, why not our naked eyeballs? (Hot first date. At least our eyeballs can get naked.)
Think of all the benefits. Aside from being able to scout out the other first daters at Starbucks® by virtue of their cocked heads, by date’s end, we’d have a firmer understanding of how things actually went. If one of us says, “I’ve gotta get going,” one imagines the go-getter isn’t exactly rushing home to input the event in their diary. (That’s a prehistoric blog.) But if after the remark, they turn sideways and grimace… : ( … that can only mean they’re sad about calling it a day!
We needn’t restrict person to person emoticons to first dates. Even after the relationship kicks into high gear and the couple wages its first inevitable tiff, a carefully placed head and goofy grin can take back an attack before it does irreparable damage:
“You loser, I wish I never met you!” Tilt head. Smile. Awww.
Let’s just say Kabbalah and the Mayan calendar are correct and the world is going to end this year. Okay, that’s absurd, but let’s say you were to live your life AS IF the world was going to end and you took advantage of each day as if it were your last. What would you do? If I were you, I’d want to fall madly, deeply, in love (I’m lucky enough that I already am, but if I weren’t…). I’d put it all on the line, stop wasting people’s time and tell it like it is. I wouldn’t be afraid to say what I mean and mean what I say. I would blast my status on Facebook and wear a shirt that says “Jewish and Single — Are You My Beshert?” I would seize the day and not stall any longer.
Your world could end at any moment. This isn’t a hypothetical. Log on. Complete your profile. Flirt, Click, Wink, Email, Instant Message, do whatever it takes to let your crushes know that you are interested! Why wait? There really isn’t a good excuse.
I go to the same bar every Friday after work regardless of whether I can find someone to meet me there or not. My adventure continued last Friday. I got there at about six, and it was more crowded than usual. That was probably because it was freezing outside as the outdoor seats were empty. Of course, my body only reacts to below zero temperatures, which have never actually existed, because I live in Houston, so how do I know? It’s because sometimes I’m not in Houston. Usually I am though, because bad things tend to happen to me when I leave.
I finally found a seat at the bar. It wasn’t easy, as there were no seats. All I had to do was wait until one person in a large party at the bar went to the bathroom, and then all I had to do was swoop in and pretend that I was that guy. This method immediately presented challenges as the group was already extremely trashed and they violently asserted that I was not their friend. I ran away and hid in the back until enough time had passed for this party to leave.
When I came back, there were plenty of seats. I sat down and started drinking. My date would be coming in two hours and I didn’t want to be sober. I’ve been sober on dates. I was all second guessing everything I was saying, and listening to the things she was saying. This was just way too much talking and listening. This time, I wanted to listen to nothing she was talking about yet act equally excited every time she spoke.
I can’t write about the actual date, though, because I don’t remember most of it. Needless to say, she won’t be contacting me again.
Here’s the kind of profile I steer clear of…
“Don’t lie about your height. If you have issues with your mother, I don’t want to hear from you. That means you’ll have issues with me too! Oh, and guys – I’m not your mother. I don’t need a grown kid to baby. I already had a kid.”
I feel like we’ve had our first fight, and we haven’t even met yet. When trying to sell their good side by arguing with you before laying eyes on you, something tells me I don’t want to go near their bad side.
Mutual fun managers should take a page from mutual fund managers: Past performance is no guarantee of future performance. (Okay, premature arguing does guarantee post-mature arguing.) In the case of guys or gals who previously didn’t pass your smell test, don’t think the rest of the guys or gals out there are equally culpable. Maybe we daters should take a page from the airlines and charge fees for excess baggage.
Oh. And I’m five feet eight and a half.
JDate asks you a question: what have you learned from your past relationships, or, simply “My Past Relationships”? It’s a tricky question but you’ve got to answer it. For the most part, the Jewish community is small, so even though you may not personally know a JDater, you may know who they’re talking about in that paragraph.
Stating that you now know that you don’t want someone who is ‘a spoiled, trust fund brat’ or a ‘pompous, egomaniac, even if he is a doctor’ will actually make you look bad, not better. You’re talking badly about an ex rather than showing what you learned about yourself. Not only does it make you look immature, but it’s gossip and it’s ugly. Use this opportunity to talk about how you have grown and the person you want to be instead.
This Week’s Top Three Tweet-Worthy Events From Jews Who Make News
Quite a few Jewish stars were winners at the People’s Choice Awards on Wednesday night. Adam Sandler took home the Favorite Comedic Movie Actor award, Lea Michele snagged the Favorite TV Comedy Actress spot and Adam Levine’s Maroon 5 won the award for Favorite Band.
Jewish actress, Kat Dennings, was happy to see her new TV show, 2 Broke Girls win Favorite New TV Comedy. Dennings Tweeted on Thursday, “THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who voted…teamwork equals People’s Choice Award!!! Thank you thank you thank you for voting.”
Chelsea Handler is celebrating the debut of her second TV show, Are You There, Chelsea? The new comedy debuted on NBC last Wednesday. The show is based on Chelsea Handler’s 2008 book, Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.
The Jewish comedian/TV host/author now has a total of two television shows with Chelsea Lately still going strong on E! as well. Will this new show do as well as her first? That remains to be seen.
Handler Tweeted on Thursday, “Thanks for watching are you there, last night. The show gets better each week, I promise. I wouldn’t put my name on something unless I didn’t think is funny. So, stick it out and then in.”
Don’t get too excited ladies. Jewish actor Zach Braff was obviously joking last Monday when he Tweeted, “Just tried to use my Jdate password to sign into my Christian Mingle account… awkward.”
Still, we’re encouraging him to give the Jewish girls what they want! Our social media team Tweeted this in response, “@zachbraff Seriously, you should join @JDate, you would clean up! Our members would be SO excited! Meet a nice, Jewish girl! #JDate”.
We haven’t heard a response from Braff yet, but perhaps Braff could be persuaded to join JDate if our female members ask nicely via Twitter! Here’s hoping!