Archive for October, 2012

First Date Food No-No

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

So you’re going on a first date. Mazal tov! There are definitely a couple of things you shouldn’t do and eating certain foods  is one of them, either because it will cause bad breath or stain your teeth or cause indigestion/belching/flatulence.

*peppers of any kind
*anything pickled
*blackened or pepper-crusted steak/fish/etc.
*onions
*garlic
*soda
*beans

Being nervous and eating quickly can also cause you to burp so eat slowly and relax. And take opportunities to check your teeth in the mirror (or a knife or an app on your phone). If you do begin to feel a stomach rumble or your chest tightening then excuse yourself to the restroom quickly, pop a few tums or pepto, and when you return drink lots of water.

Any other foods you recommend avoiding on a first date?


Bipartisanism

by JeremySpoke under News,Relationships

In politics, so I hear, bipartisanism is a good thing because it promotes cooperation and junk. People always say that politics needs to be more bipartisan. However, the only times our two political parties come together are during horrific national tragedies.

You never see Republicans, during peace time while our children are failing out of schools, decide to reroute some military spending to public schools. You never see Democrats, during good economic times, decide to lower taxes. However, when a monstrous hurricane threatens to decimate the most populous area in the nation, both groups decide that they should get along so that most of America doesn’t die.

While I’m glad that during, for example, 9/11, President Bush didn’t decide to aggressively push his controversial ‘Deport All Poor People’ platform, I wish that government would get along even during times that they don’t really have to.

In a long-term relationship, people tend to be closest during trying times (i.e. death in the family, a lay off, natural disaster, serious illness, delay of the McRib, etc.). However, I suppose day-to-day life, while generally more pleasant, can also be more fraught with frustration. The little things that you tend to ignore during emergencies tend to surface. Okay, so he left the toilet seat up and she lets her brother sleep in the bed with you. At least you’re both healthy and have a home and enough money to support yourselves.

Don’t wait for urgency to necessitate cooperation. Either of you could die at any second. Tragedy could hit anywhere at any time. What I’m saying is, just let your girlfriend’s brother sleep with you guys.


The Double Standard

by Adam under Relationships

“Chivalry is dead.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that statement from women, discussing their break-ups, a bad date they had, or how every male they meet makes fun of the WNBA.

That statement is usually followed up with “He didn’t call” or “I thought we had a great time, but he doesn’t answer my texts,” or “he didn’t friend me on Facebook.” These complaints are completely understandable, as bad date or not, every male should follow up with “Hey, I had a great time” or “Hey, you’re an awesome person, and I’d love to be friends,” or something similar to not keep a girl waiting in her quest for Prince Charming.

Why is it then that girls always get a pass in disregarding these type of interactions?

A buddy of mine, I’ll call him Cutler due to his Chicago roots, went out for drinks with a girl who contacted him on another site. Now, what was interesting about said girl was when they were deciding a time to meet me, the girl sent Cutler several messages saying “Hey, if at all possible let’s do it tonight” and quickly gave him her phone number without being prompted by my friend. Not necessarily a red flag, but definitely a call for question.

Fast forward two days later. My chivalrous friend tells me he ended up talking for two hours to this girl, and was hopeful in planning date number 2, as the girl had also indicated to him via text that night that she enjoyed his company.

So why then, when Cutler called, saying what a good time he had and his interest in another date, did she not call back? Why would she give her number so quickly, look for a meeting time as early as possible, and then go silent once it was time to take the step? Did she have a boyfriend, who probably doesn’t know she’s on a dating site? Or is she just an immature 27-year-old girl (real women would be courteous with follow-ups) who is trying to get as many drinks bought for her as possible, while misleading every guy she dates until she finds the lawyer/doctor/banker/politician stereotype that all Jewish mothers secretly desire for their daughters?

Women, dating goes both ways. So does karma. Even if you had no possible connection, every guy is still worth a rejection text message to let him off the hook. You never know when “playing the field” will come back to bite you.


Hollywood Yenta Roundup: Mila Kunis, Ian Ziering and Lena Dunham…

by JDateAdministrator under Entertainment,Judaism,News

1. Mila the MILF?

Even the “Sexiest Woman Alive” puts on a few extra pounds from time to time.

When Jewish movie star Mila Kunis stepped out for coffee in Los Angeles with her boyfriend Ashton Kutcher recently, gossip columns around the web started posting rumors claiming the That ’70s Show co-stars are expecting a baby. However, Kunis’ rep denies the A-lister is pregnant.

RadarOnline.com jumped on the pregnancy bandwagon first, writing that “the pint-sized star was snapped on Saturday sporting what looked like a decidedly rounder midriff.” Click here to see the picture inspiring all the chatter – and to see if you agree with the baby bump buzz.

 

2. It’s Baby Time for Ian Ziering

People.com is reporting Ian Ziering and his wife Erin are pregnant for the second time. The magazine reports baby number two will be here this May.

“I feel blessed, having a family is something that I’ve always wanted,” the Jewish actor tells the magazine. “Having a second child is the realization of a dream come true.”

Ziering, who is 48, is already the proud daddy of a little 18-month-old Mia Loren.

 

3. Lena Dunham Loses Her V-Card (As in Voting)

Lena Dunham, the creator and star of HBO’s hit series Girls, stars in a new political ad for Barack Obama that, metaphorically speaking, compares voting for Obama to losing one’s virginity.

The new ad features Dunham, whose mother is Jewish, talking directly to the camera and saying, “Your first time shouldn’t be with just anybody. You want to do it with a great guy…someone who really cares about and understands women.”

The ad has been heavily criticized by conservatives who say “the only honest bit of innuendo in the ad is that the people who voted for Barack Obama in 2008 have been screwed — economically.” Watch the ad for yourself here and tell use what you think!


Courtesy Or Control?

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Chivalry isn’t dead, but it’s taken different forms.

~opening the car door for you = courteous
~holding open the door to the restaurant = courteous
~cupping your elbow and steering you in a certain direction = questionable
~making the plans for the date = courteous
~ordering for you without asking you if there’s anything you do or don’t like = controlling
~asking you if you need to use the restroom before you leave the restaurant = controlling
~refusing to leave for an event until an hour after it began = controlling
~telling you what to wear, how to style your hair, how to do your makeup = controlling
~reprimanding you for something you posted on Facebook = controlling
~reminding you to call and check in with your parents after a weekend away = courteous
~buying you a toothbrush to keep at his house = courteous

Do you have any other courteous vs. controlling examples?


Show-Off Turn-Off

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

No one likes a show-off. No one. Don’t think your date is impressed by your knowledge of  facts especially if you end up making your date feel stupid in the meantime. An art gallery or museum is a nice date, so don’t brag about how much you know or own to the point of making your date feel uncultured. A wine tasting is also a nice date idea but being a wine snob isn’t. Same goes for beer. Don’t ruin a good moment by bragging about how much you know about the topic or who you know or why you know it.

Think of it this way: people who would be impressed by your knowledge or connections are liking you for the wrong reasons. You want someone to like you for you. Once you use those interesting (useless?) nuggets then what is left? Substance over hype.

The last thing you want to do is turn someone off while trying to impress them!


Does Stacy’s Mom Have It Going On?

by Adam under Relationships

One of the most tragic events to occur in my post-adolescent life happened earlier this year. I was absolutely devastated to read the news that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, the world’s most famous Kabbalah couple, had split up amid rumors of Kutcher’s infidelity. Despite the large age gap they seemed to mesh perfectly with each other with Kutcher providing the perfect surrogate father compliment to John McClane, err Bruce Willis.

At first, it seemed so taboo- here is Kutcher, a young Hollywood star fresh off of “Punk’d” and “That 70’s Show” dating a woman, Moore, who had a career revival of sorts with her head-turning looks in “Charlie’s Angels.” They didn’t seem bothered with the tabloid fodder about the age difference, as they were perfectly content with each other’s company.

The same happens in normal people life- some men and women at a point in their dating life go out with someone who might be a bit older or younger than what they’re used to. For many, it doesn’t work, because of the generational thinking, as both could be in different periods of their life. But why does it work? Take Paul Finch for example- an old soul in a young body, who enjoys the “finer” things, as compared to his contemporary Steve Stifler, who enjoys kegstands, high school seniors, and mouthing off to his boss. It was only natural then that he longed for the companionship of Stifler’s mother, who could help him fulfill these “mature” desires.

While funny to those of us watching, the Finch-Stifler’s mom dynamic is becoming more and more common as many in the dating world shirk the “age restrictions” once strictly abided by during the days of crew cuts and James Dean. While I’m not necessarily a fan of the Hugh Hefner-whoever is his new blonde girlfriend-type relationships, there is something to be said for learning from, and/or dating someone who might be five, ten or even fifteen years your senior. Who knows, you both might bond over your love for vinyl records, or mutual interest in blasting Justin Bieber songs on a road trip.


Getting To Know (All About) You

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

“Getting To Know You” is not just a catchy Rodgers and Hammerstein song from “The King and I,” it’s also what people do on first dates. But I’m here to tell you NOT to do that. I mean, of course, get to know your date, but don’t try to get to know ALL about them on the first date. Leave something for date two, and three, and date sixteen. And once you’ve been on a great date, don’t try to research every possible detail you can. When a date is going well it’s exciting to both want to continue talking all night until the sun comes up, but try to refrain. This is what happens: you go on a date, drink a little, hit if off, drink some more, keep talking and flirting, drink a little more, start yawning but keep talking, start sharing things you may not have shared on a first date had you not been drinking, yawning and letting down your guard, finally go home and sleep a few hours before waking up to realize that you shared things that now make you feel totally vulnerable and you can’t take it back. So when your date (hopefully) calls you’re not sure whether to feel embarrassed or not or if the intent behind the call is still one looking for a relationship with you or not. Confusing right? Well, these are the things that go through our minds after we’ve shared too much too soon. So reel it in and keep the mystery alive.


My Vote

by JeremySpoke under Entertainment

The election is in two weeks, and I know that I will have to go to a polling station and place my vote for president. I am really nervous because every time I vote for president, the country gets worse. I first voted for president in 2004, and the country was doing pretty poorly. I thought that by placing my vote, I would stop America from being horrible. Then, the country got a whole lot worse, and in 2008, I voted again, hoping that we would not descend into a hell on earth. However, this is exactly the place we descended. Regardless of who I vote for, and who wins the election, in four years, America will be engulfed in fire and we will all be burned alive.

Voting is important and blah blah blah, but what would happen if not one person voted? I’m sure there’s something in the Constitution detailing that situation, but I’m curious, and I don’t want to do a Google search for this. Maybe if nobody voted, God will descend from the heavens and give everyone a million dollars and a Toyota Corolla and everything will be perfect. Of course, this will cause inflation to skyrocket, as well as increase emissions and car accidents. Didn’t think of that, did you God?

Let’s look at how the presidents that have served since I’ve been of voting age compared to my life’s trajectory during that time period, regardless, or maybe because of, political parties. When Bush was president, my life was spiraling out of control. I was overweight and suffering from a complex variety of anxiety and OCD-related issues. Days blended together in a haze of hamburgers, television, and sleep. Obama campaigned on a promise of ‘Change.’ While I have no idea if he accomplished that politically, my life took a 180 degree turn for the better over the past four years. Now, I don’t want to vote for Romney because I have friends, and I don’t want to vote for Obama because I have parents. I wish I wasn’t so easily influenced by people.

Also, I don’t want to have to live with my decision. No matter which candidate I vote for, we’re all going to die. I don’t want that blood on my hands. On the same token, I can’t live with the knowledge of knowing that I did not vote. Therefore, I think that my only solution is clearer than it has ever been. I should get blistering drunk, have a friend drive me to the voting booth, and force me to vote. I will have no memory of who I voted for, yet my friend will assure me that I did.

I hope that something drastic happens within the next two weeks. I want Obama to give us all the meaning of life, or God to descend and give us all Toyota Corollas.


Everything I Learned in Life I Learned from Carrie Bradshaw

by Adam under Relationships

For my first post on JDate, I was struggling with what to write and how to write it. I’m not a serial dater (a JDate “veteran”), but I’m not exactly Tim Tebow either. I’m a regular guy who enjoys the normal guy stuff in the fall (AKA I’m glued to the TV watching football from 9 am Saturday morning to 10 pm Sunday night), all the while keeping a steady balance on my computer between the large meat-filled pizzas I ordered from Papa Johns and checking the progress of my 2-3 fantasy leagues that take up much of my production during the 40-hour work week.

However, I’m not a normal guy in that I picked up a small habit that continues to show itself at moments of my occasional boredom with sports – I watch Sex and the City.

I don’t know what brings me to it. Is it the allure of one day being Mr. Big – a big, successful Wall Street financier living in the middle of New York City and having the world (and Carrie Bradshaw) at your fingertips? Or is it Carrie Bradshaw – a sex and relationships columnist who has really helped me to understand the difference between Jimmy Choo and Louis Vuitton?

While the show slightly exaggerates the world of dating, and focuses a little too much on high fashion for my taste (I do not think I’ve seen one of the women wear an actual t-shirt during an episode) I’ve managed to pick up life lessons from Carrie, a woman who while she needs material for her column (as I need material for my blog), struggles to maintain that need for stories with the idea of being in a relationship, as she moves through various men like Aidan, Jack, and Alexander but ultimately quests for that Heisman-Trophy-kind-of-a-man: Mr. Big. Since I’m not much of a math guy (there goes that Jewish stereotype), am I destined for the life of Carrie Bradshaw?