Archive for October, 2012

Hollywood Yenta Roundup: Kirk Douglas, Dustin Hoffman, Adam Levine and Aly Raisman…

by JDateAdministrator under Entertainment,Judaism,News

1. Douglas & Hoffman Make the 10 Longest Lasting Hollywood Marriages List

Two Jewish actors, Kirk Douglas and Dustin Hoffman, made the 10 Longest Lasting Hollywood Marriages list on

At 93, Douglas has been married to his wife, Anne Buydens, for 56 years. The marriage is the Jewish actor’s second; his most famous son, Michael Douglas, was born during his first marriage. Douglas and Buydens met in 1953, when she was a publicist for his movie Act of Love. In 2004, they renewed their vows before 300 guests, including Nancy Reagan. As part of the traditional Jewish ceremony, Douglas cracked a glass wrapped in linen.

Although Hoffman, 73, has said that marriage seems strange to him, he’s done a pretty good job at making it work. “There’s something unnatural about marriage,” he once said in an interview. Still, the Academy Award®-winning actor and his wife Lisa Gottsegen, have been married for 29 years and raised four children: Jacob, Rebecca, Maxwell and Lydia. Besides being an attorney, Gottsegen launched a successful skin-care line in 2007.


 2. Adam Levine Embraces the Horror Genre

American Horror Story is back, and it’s bolder and bloodier than ever before. The hit FX series premiered the second installment of its terror anthology last week and introduced a famous new Jewish star to the cast.

Maroon 5’s Adam Levine plays Leo, a newlywed married to Teresa (Jenna Dewan -Tatum). The two choose to spend their honeymoon within the corridors of the now-abandoned Briarcliff and once they set foot inside, terrifying things quickly start happening. Something tells us this new role for the Jewish singer is not that similar to his work on The Voice!


3. Raisman Speaks to Jewish Community

As a world champion Jewish gymnast, Aly Raisman is now using her fame for good. The 18-year-old athlete made her first visit to South Florida on Wednesday for the Women’s International Zionist Organization (WIZO) which helps out thousands of Israeli children.

“We are very proud, especially because people don’t realize that all over the world, when you want to think of a Jewish song, when you hear Hava Nagila, it is totally the song they recognize,” said President of WIZO Jana Falic. Hava Nagila is a traditional Jewish song, which means, “Let us rejoice.” Raisman won her gold medal on the floor routine dancing to the tune last summer.

After Raisman won her medal, she proudly said that she would have wanted a moment of silence for the 11 Israeli Olympians who were murdered during the 1972 Munich Olympics.

Age UN-Listed

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I listed my correct age when I filled out my JDate profile, but I see that many men only want to meet women who are younger than them.  I don’t see why women should have to “settle” for much older men while men date much younger women.  Perhaps I should have lied about my age in filling my profile. Any suggestions?

Dear Age UN-Listed,

I don’t endorse lying about your age (or much else) but I get this question time and time again from women in their 30’s to women in their 80’s. I know it’s a problem and it has been for centuries… and it’s not fair. If you were to meet a man at a party then he wouldn’t know your age until he asked, but on JDate it’s not only one of the first things he sees but he can actually set his search preferences in such a way to eliminate women his own age!

So this is my advice to you — put your true age and then search for the men you are interested in. Look at their profiles and they will see that you did so. Send a flirt and even a message letting him know that although you may not fall into his preferred age range that you hope he’ll take a look.

And my advice to the men — age discrimination will only make you miss out on lots of fabulous women. Broaden your horizons and consider women even a couple of years older than you. It can’t hurt, right?

First Date Sex

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

So many women have said to me, “I didn’t sleep with him on the first date because I actually like him.” These women are concerned that if they had sex with their date then he wouldn’t respect them afterwards. Or he wouldn’t care for a 2nd date because hey, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

So here’s my advice: don’t allow the date to get to the point where you are having to make the decision about sex. Don’t go back to his place (or yours) and that way you won’t be in an awkward position, literally. Sometimes couples have sex on the first date and end up getting married, but most of the time it doesn’t work out that way.

Ladies, listen: I’m not sure why you may be afraid to tell a man you don’t want to have sex. Is it because you think he isn’t going to call you again if you say no? Then you have your answer about what kind of man he is. If you’re afraid to say no then don’t put yourself in that position. If you’re afraid to say no then you probably don’t want to date this man anyways. If he’s pressuring you for sex then he most likely doesn’t see you as marriage material and he’s not going to call you, whether you sleep with him or not. So wouldn’t you rather keep your dignity?


by JeremySpoke under Online Dating,Success Stories

Online dating works so well, at least the online portion, because you’re talking to the best possible image of someone. You’re looking at the four or five best pictures of them ever. No matter what you look like, you know that you have a handful of really flattering photos, and you know exactly where they are on your computer. They are perfect for dating websites, Facebook profile pictures, proof of innocence during a pending trial, etc.

Two people chatting online via a dating website will almost always get along. Always. Almost.

What you don’t realize is that you’re not actually talking to a person. You’re talking to a horrifically glorified idea of a person. The relationship immediately starts its drastic decline the moment you meet the other person. You hear their voice, and it’s nothing like you expected. It’s raspy and weird and reminds you of your first cousin. They don’t pay attention to anything you say, and they have this weird thing where they spit at you.

Sight ruins everything. I don’t really mean this, because I don’t want to trivialize actual blindness. I am very fortunate to not be blind, and I do not wish that I was blind. I enjoy a lot of the things that I am fortunate enough to see: the Olympics, puppies, etc. However, physical aesthetics can easily be confused for meaningful qualities, and nobody is immune to this mistake. We are wired to place looks at such a high premium. ‘Luckily, my girlfriend is both beautiful and great’, said every boyfriend ever, including myself.

Mine actually is, but these two adjectives do not always coincide. I’ve met several incredibly great people in my life who will probably die alone. It’s not fair. On the same token, I never went out of my way to ask them on a date. On the same token again, I wasn’t good looking either, so maybe they’re the ones who didn’t ask me out on a date. Maybe we both thought that the other one was hideous and that we were gorgeous. Maybe she is the most beautiful girl in the world, and I have a horribly skewed perception of physical beauty. Maybe she was placed on earth to test humanity, and we are all going to hell. Maybe some great people are just created ugly because life is not fair and is awful and assholes are often the greatest-looking people on the planet.

Dress for Sex-ess

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

As we enter the working world we are told to “dress for success” — to wear a suit or conservative dress to each job interview, no matter what the industry, in order to look as professional as possible. So why should dressing for a date be any different? At a huge gala I attended last night the women were showing skin left and right — cleavage, upper thigh, stomach, shoulders and more — in the hopes of getting attention from the male partygoers. But the men are looking at the women and seeing sex, not wife material. There are ways to look sexy without showing so much skin. One body part at a time — either cleavage or legs or shoulders, but not all 3 at once! — is actually sexier plus respectful, which is also sexy. So don’t dress for sex, but for relationship success.

Hollywood Yenta Roundup: Arlen Specter, Sacha Baron Cohen and Gwyneth Paltrow…

by JDateAdministrator under Entertainment,Judaism,News

1. Former Senator Arlen Specter Dies

Arlen Specter, the longest-running senator in Philadelphia, died Sunday at the age of 82 after a battle with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Specter, who was Jewish, ended his 30-year career in Congress after he switched from the Republican to the Democratic party and lost in the primary.

Specter was a celebrated moderate and the only Jewish Republican in the Senate by the end of his career with the GOP. He often broke with party lines, particularly on social issues like gay rights, abortion, gun control and stem cell research. His support helped President Obama ultimately pass the healthcare reform package.


2. Sacha Baron Cohen Gears Up for a Busy 2013

Sacha Baron Cohen was cast as Freddie Mercury in a film about the Queen frontman more than two years ago, but filming has yet to start…until now. Brian May, the band’s guitarist, posted an update about the film on his website last week:

“Ah … I promised news of yesterday’s Queen band meeting. Well, it was just Roger and Jim Beach and myself … we are a small cottage industry !! Our main agenda was the Freddie film … which, I’m happy to tell you, is on course… filming is now scheduled to start in the Spring, with Sacha Baron Cohen playing Freddie. The film should be ready for release early in 2014.”

As for Cohen, the Jewish comedian’s next film is the controversial comedy The Lesbian. The movie is based on Hong Kong billionaire Cecil Chao, who offered a $65 million bounty to any man who could woo his daughter out of her same-sex marriage.


3. Gwyneth The Rapper

Who knew Gwyneth Paltrow could flow like her good friend Jay-Z?! Paltrow recently put her rapping abilities on display (alongside pal Cameron Diaz) in a video the two made for their pal Chelsea Handler.

Paying homage to the Chelsea Lately star, the ladies are introduced by Handler as “Emcee Gwyneth Paltrow” and “Deejay Jazzy Cameron Diaz.” Paltrow, whose father is Jewish, wasn’t afraid to be a little subversive with her rhyme about her friend Chelsea (whose father is also Jewish). During the rhyme, Paltrow rapped, “Yo, Chelsea… We know that you got on TV by being a ho.”

The Weekend

by JeremySpoke under Success Stories

The weekend is supposed to be a nice break from the week, but I’ve had a tenuous relationship with the weekend. As a kid, I didn’t really care either way, because school was a joke, and I did whatever I wanted all the time. I actually remember waking up on Saturday mornings before I was supposed to. What the hell was I thinking? I really had not yet grasped the true meaning of weekend.

Through junior high, the weekend grew more important. Junior high school was terrible, and I needed the weekend to recover from the teasing, the beatings, anything involving math, and that time this girl said I was cute and then said some smart ass comment that I will relive in horror for the rest of my life. This is when I started sleeping a lot. There was really no reason to wake up. I had no friends, no girlfriends, and a huge bed.

Then, during the first half of high school, I remained friend/girlfriendless. The weekend started weighing on me, though, as I would spend the entire time in my room watching television. In 1992, I was depressed on Sunday nights before school started for the week. By 1999, I was depressed on Friday afternoons knowing I would have to spend the next two-and-a-half days alone, unintentionally being humiliated by my parents trying to force me to make friends. I can remember reading the TV Guide, and literally writing down an entire television-watching schedule for the weekend. I took Must See TV for its most literal connotation. I know Must See TV referred to Thursday night, but this is just an example. It got so bad, I can actually remember writing Caroline in the City into my schedule. If you have ever seen Caroline in the City, and somehow still haven’t killed yourself, you now understand, that after I have written over 200 self-loathing posts, sometimes chronicling unfathomable lows, how bad my life has been.

By the end of high school, I had friends. The weekend was fun again. I still didn’t have a girlfriend, but I did have some female friends, and sometimes I got to sit next to them in cars. I did have a few short-lived girlfriends, though, but they were terrible. Our relationships were short-lived, not their lives. They’re probably okay now, living out their horrible lives regretting ever sitting next to me in a car.

By early college, my obsessive-compulsive disorder and general anxiety started spiraling out of control. By this point, I would often lose track of what day it was, and could not discern between the week and the weekend. It all blended together in a pool of worry, sweat, tears, and pacing around the hall of my dorm. This lasted a few years until I transferred schools, and things started getting a lot better. However, switching schools brought me back home, and most of my friends were back in college. Life was okay again, but lonely. I would often spend the weekend with my family, which was still great.

After graduation, I finally somewhat completed getting my life together by losing weight and getting a great job. For a while, I disliked the weekend again. I liked/like my job a lot, and most of my friends still did not live in this city. During the weekends, I was so tired, I would just end up sleeping and pretty much spending the entire time alone again. I would try to get the Houston friends I have to meet me Fridays after work for happy hour, but this would prove difficult, as most of them have lives/relationships. Sometimes, I would go to a bar after work by myself for a while, go to dinner by myself, and go home for the evening.

I finally found a great girl, and things seem to be falling into place. The weekend is fun again, and the week is pretty swell as well. I still struggle with a lot of things, but I’m achieving some sort of balance or something. I say that while simultaneously making sure that I’m perfectly centered on my bed while constantly worrying that the last email I wrote didn’t have a period after the last sentence. I must now go lock and unlock my front door eight times.

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Financially Fraught

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I met a wonderful woman on JDate. We got along wonderfully at dinner, but something came up in conversation that really makes me think there could be a serious problem down the road. We are both nearing retirement and began discussing our ”Bucket List.” As it turns out, she, a widow, aside from having a successful career of her own, was married to a very wealthy man. This man left her a huge estate. Her “List” included the kinds of things one would expect to see on it: vacations, cruises, etc. As for me, I am a middle-management guy for a major company and am planning to retire on a pension, Social Security and a modest 401k. Get the picture? See the problem? There is no way I can afford to live in her world.

Again, we really hit it off, and I would like to pursue this relationship, but can this ever go anywhere? What’s your advice?

Dear Financially Fraught,

Don’t make any assumptions. Your date may have been trying to impress you or she may want to indulge you by taking you with her on these trips. The best thing to do would be to be honest — tell her basically what you told me: you feel a connection and want to see where the relationship can go but you’re concerned that your idea of retirement is not aligned with hers. Let her know that you want to enjoy retirement with a partner but don’t want to put pressure on either of you to not enjoy life the way you had expected. All in all, the person you spend that time with is what counts, not what you’re doing, so hopefully you’ll get the answer from her that you’re hoping for.

Real Housewives Of JDate

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

At the beginning of every episode of every city of Bravo’s “Real Housewives” hit series there are one line zingers stated by each woman to introduce herself. Here are a few examples of the Jewish housewives from various cities: NYC’s Aviva “Never underestimate a woman born and raised in New York City;” Orange County’s Heather “I may be married to a plastic surgeon, but I’m ninety-eight per cent real;” and Beverly Hill’s Kyle “I’m not the richest girl in Beverly Hills, but I’m the luckiest.”

What would your line be? It should show your personality, a little attitude, some humor and yet still manage to give some kernel of information about you. Basically, it’s the first line of your profile. It will get the most attention and lure prospects into reading the rest of your profile. Just make sure it comes off charming and not obnoxious!


by JeremySpoke under Success Stories

I hope that my recent run-in with motivation will continue to last now that I’m dating someone. The entire reason that I motivated myself in the first place was to find a girl. Now that I’ve found her, I’m finding it really hard to not constantly eat ribs and then immediately fall asleep, and then wake up once the acid from the ribs and sauce start burning my heart.

I think I’m deep enough into a productive routine to not fall back into that endless cycle of ribs/sleep/acid reflux. However, I now fully understand how people in relationships can really let themselves go. When my diet was at its height, I once had to pass out cupcakes, and got a bit of frosting on my fingertip, and instead of licking it off, I walked down the hall, into the bathroom, and wiped it off with a towel. Today, I wouldn’t pass out cupcakes in the first place because I would have eaten all of them and then gone to get some ribs.

Though my diet has eased up a bit, I’m really not letting myself go yet. I hope my girlfriend doesn’t end up liking me too much. I need to have a constant fear of rejection, or I will implode. For every compliment I receive, that’s the caloric equivalent of one extra cupcake per week. But please do not stop complimenting me. I’m emotionally weak, but I’d rather be physically weak.

Being unhealthy and not alone is perfectly acceptable to me. However, being unhealthy and alone is not. What good is some good ribs heartburn if you have nobody’s face to burp into? I think that is the definition of love.

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